One of the Guys
by TheGodMachine
Summary: Hermione and Harry go undercover as the opposite gender for the sake of journalism without knowing who the other is. As they do the project they begin to develop feelings for each other that confuse and frighten them. HPHG
1. The Article Edit

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered. This is actually based off a movie called 'one of the guys' and a boy meets world episode that is called 'chick like me.'

**Summary:** (AU) Hermione and Harry go under cover as the opposite sex for journalism without knowing who the other is. As they do the project they begin to develop feelings for each other that confuse and frighten them while their friends around them are also in a mess of feelings.

**A/N: **This is chapter one redone and digitally enhanced.

**One of The Guys**

**Chapter One**

**The Article (edit 2/2/09)**

"Hermione!" Ginny called to the bushy-haired brunette.

Hermione raised her head from her book and saw her friend walking towards her from the other side of the great hall. She moaned in slight dread. She could predict the conversation about to begin in a few minutes. Ginny was her best friend and only a year younger than her putting them one grade apart, but Ginny had random moments of girlishness that Hermione often felt she was dealing with a hormonal third year rather than a capable 6th year.

"How was the homecoming dance?" Ginny sat down in front of her.

Predictable.

Any public event where girls can wear dresses and dance to muggle hip-hop-disco-pop-whatever music quickly sent the redhead into a fit of peppy slutty-ness that could rival either Patil sister…not that Hermione was calling Ginny a slut. She wasn't. Ginny was clean wholesome fun. Really.

"Don't look at me like that," Ginny snapped irritably as she grabbed a bagel. "You know I like to dance." With boys. Lots and lots of boys. The unspoken words brought a smile to Hermione's lips. She often reminisced about different she and Ginny were. Ginny loved boys first, Hermione loved books.

"Well…" She said slowly, "I assume the dance was like any other homecoming, not that I would know. I've never been to a Hogwarts' dance." Well, not true. She did go to the Yule ball with Victor Krum when she was fourteen, but that dance was a whole other ball park.

The homecoming dance, on the other hand, was an annual event thrown just for seventh year Hogwarts students. Of course younger years could attend if they had a seventh year date, but Ginny's older brother had scared off all potential suitors.

"Did you have fun?" Ginny asked. She recognized Hermione's words as a verbal sidestep to the true answer.

"Hmmm," Hermione sighed. "I guess, I mean, what should I have expected? Terry had all of his friends there, so…." Hermione really liked her books first. They could feed her passion and knowledge at the same time where as with boys, she suddenly felt a disconnection. But Terry—Terry Boot, a Ravenclaw Prefect who she had met in the library had seemed just like her. She had met him when they both reached for the special edition of Hogwarts, A History. She felt the spark and the rest was history. She giggled at her pun while Ginny sent her a strange look.

"That can't be so bad," Ginny said, "You're smiling…unless—You didn't break up with him, did you?" Ginny asked her eyes big. Hermione quickly shook her head.

"Good, because that would be bad!" Ginny squealed. "He's like the male version of you. Studious, serious knowledge-aholic, and...All that over-achiever stuff."

"No, even I'm that stupid when it comes to dating!" she cried. "I was only able to squeeze one dance in before I lost him to his friends." She shook her head sadly, "But, it's ok, I guess. I'm not really into dancing or all those girly activities. I left early, anyway, to write up my article. I had to get it done. Today's the first edition, a look at summer and homecoming activities…" She stopped talking as she caught Ginny turning her head away, "What is it?"

"Nothing," Ginny mumbled.

"What is it, Ginny?" Hermione asked seriously. "Why did you do that suspicious movement?"

"I knew I shouldn't have bought you that book on body language," Ginny joked.

"Ginny," Hermione demanded, "Just tell me. You'll feel better afterwards, I promise."

"Fine," She sighed, "The newspaper, It's new and all so don't be upset." Ginny paused at Hermione's perplexed expression, "No one's interested in it."

"What?" Hermione gaped, "How could no one want to catch up on current events in the world?" Ginny only shrugged.

"I've just heard kids talking about it…" She shrugged. "It hasn't been good. I'm sorry."

Hermione stood up suddenly and rushed out of the Great Hall. Ginny followed.

Their sudden departure caused many heads to turn. Hermione ran out of the hall and turned to the wall on the left. She didn't know what she expected but three stacks of neatly pressed newspapers still tied up was not it. She stared, not a single paper had been taken.

Ginny came out a few moments later, she walked so she was behind Hermione. They were both silent.

"Hermione I'm sorry," Ginny said.

"I just don't get it," Hermione mumbled.

There were footsteps behind the two that rushed hastily towards them. The two turned around to see Ron Weasley, Ginny's older brother run over to them. He didn't even acknowledge either girl as he pulled out his wand. He cut the bindings around the first stack of papers. Hermione felt her heart rise. 'Finally,' she thought, 'someone wants to read it.' He grabbed about half the stack.

"Ron?" Ginny asked inquisitively. She had a bad feeling. Ron barely ever read anything, which include homework assignments, potion ingredient labels, clothes tags, least of all newspapers, so why would he need so many papers.

He turned around and smiled, "Oh, Hey Ginny," he said.

"Why do you need that many?" She asked suspiciously as she eyed the load he carried.

"Oh," Ron looked down at the papers he was holding, "Harry over flooded the bathroom and, we, uh," He blushed, "Can't remember the cleaning spell."

Hermione felt her hopes crushed and anger replace it. She walked over to Ron and grabbed the papers. She glared at him, "Its 'Scourgify'."

Ron looked at her funny. Hermione never got along with him or with him or any of his friends. You would think of all their years spent in the same classes and same house they would have some mutual feelings of camaraderie but no. Ron was just so easily annoyed with her that when she was near some of his friends he would come and drag them away. That was the main reason why Hermione was so lonely. But she did have Ginny and Terry, but now Terry and she were drifting apart. And she had her books and writing, even if no one ever read them.

"Whatever," he mumbled casting a dark look at her before he rushed back to the tower.

"'Whatever'," Ginny said deepening her voice so she sounded more like Ron or a buffoon. But either way it didn't make a difference.

"Let's just go to class," Hermione said.

Ginny and Hermione separated down the hall. Ginny went up the stairs to the second floor to attend her charms class while Hermione rushed all the way to the fifth floor to make it five minutes early to her transfiguration class. Hermione sat in the second row and took out her book, a roll of parchment, black ink, and an eagle feather quill. She also placed her wand on the binding of the book and neatly placed her hands in her lap.

A few minutes later a throng of giggling Hufflepuffs entered the room. They walked past Hermione and took their seats near the window. She watched them idly, smiling when one of them told a joke she found funny.

Not long after, a group of boys, Hermione recognized as Ron and his friends walked into the classroom. They were talking in low whispers with their heads bent close together. As they walked by, Hermione saw Ron slightly nod his head in her direction then mumble something about bossy—know—it—alls.

She felt her face flush and turned her gaze away. They walked past her and took their seats at the back of the room. The last to enter the room was Professor McGonagall herself. She swept into the room and stood by the desk. The class focused their attention on the graying woman as her body stood erect and demanding attention.

"Class," She began, "Today, as my expectations have not changed, I expect you to pay closer attention because the magic we are learning today demands focus, talent, and competence." She looked around the room. "The spell I will teach you is called 'Sunor Ot Celfer'. Now who can tell me what this spell does?" She looked around her classroom, "Anyone?"

Hermione raised her hand slowly. She had read about it in the library when she was researching information on Ramona Ragmuff, A medieval witch who turned her cheating husband into his beard-shaving aunt for a week. She shuddered. The book had shown a painting done of the man when he had been cursed . . . well let's just say she didn't eat a potato skins without thinking of that man.

'Sunor Ot Celfer' actually meant 'Reflector on us' which would be the something similar yet terribly opposite of an object or in Mr. Ragmuff's case, 'terribly opposite' would be his gender.

"Yes, Miss Granger," Prof. McGonagall called, "What does the spell do?"

"It would change you into the opposite gender of yourself," She answered, "Not your personality but just your appearance and sex." She blushed as she finished, while a few people giggled.

"Correct, 5 points to Gryffindor," I will now demonstrate." She pointed her wand at herself and closed her eyes, "_Tonma Itahw Tubma Iohw Tonmai_."

Her body lit up by a golden essence then died down just as quickly as it appeared. Instead of the severe looking female teacher with long black hair pulled back into a tight bun with sharp eyes there now stood a severe looking male teacher with short black hair and gray frosting.

He opened his mouth and explained, "_Tonma Itahw tubma Iohw Tonmai_, means _I am not who I am but what I am not_." His voice was much deeper but still held the do-not-cross-me-because-I-can-take-points-away tone. He pointed the wand at himself and repeated the incantation. At once the same effect happened and their female teacher returned.

"Now, we will practice the incantation, once you all begin that," she spoke now in her normal voice, "You will notice nothing will happen. This spell holds no wand movement but true raw intent. To do it you must clear your mind and focus. Just let the words take over." She looked around the room. "Despite that this spell may seem like wandless magic, the wand is required all the same to perform the spell. Now I want you to practice the annunciation." she repeated the words slowly several times to allow the students to pronounce it correctly and it took the entire class period for less than half the class to say it right.

Hermione exited the classroom and walked quickly to her next lesson, charms. Professor Flitwick was one of her favorite teachers so she immensely enjoyed the lesson. She was partnered with Neville Longbottom as they reviewed several charms. Charms, as a common practice of magic, was one of the largest sections on the N.E.W.T.S and therefore Flitwick began reviews before most other teachers.

Hermione breezed through the class easily. In no time the class was already dismissed and students were pouring down to the Great Hall. Hermione though ran down to her head of house's office. She knocked timidly.

"Come in," McGonagall answered. Hermione entered the room and saw the woman sitting behind her desk with papers scattered around her. She glanced up when Hermione entered. "Good morning, Miss Granger."

"Good morning Professor," Hermione repeated. McGonagall made one last mark on a paper she appeared to be grading before she redirected her attention on Hermione. She shuffled things around her desk and folded her hands.

"Professor," Hermione started, cutting straight to the chase, "Hogwarts Daily isn't selling. I'm just thinking maybe I shouldn't do it anymore. It's just is a waste of time."

She felt bad for giving up, but all her efforts in publishing a newspaper could be focused on studying. If no one wanted to catch up on world topics then who was she to keep publishing?

"Miss Granger, in no time of history has writing a newspaper ever been a waste of time," McGonagall said. She looked at Hermione's eager face. "Maybe you should try spicing it up a little, writing a story that will appear to the teenage nature, a headline article that will hold the interest of the school and fit in the educational articles where you please."

"Teenage nature?" Hermione asked. "I don't think it's in the teenage nature to read."

"Plenty of publications advertise to teenagers," McGonagall said. "Now give it some thought, but I need to finish marking these parchments."

Hermione nodded then left for lunch. She figured Ginny would have some insight on what to do.

—

Well, that was the retype of Chapter One. I think it nearly doubled in length or maybe I'm exaggerating. REVIEW IF YOU WANT!


	2. The Break Up Edit

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered.

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Two**

**The Break up (Edit 2/6/09)**

Harry sat across from Ron in the Great Hall. Ron was bragging about how he was finally able to snag a date with Padma Patil, the Indian girl in the Ravenclaw house.

"So I'm walking to class and she's in front of me talking to some chick," Ron said, "And she's all hung up on her break up with some 7th year-,"

"Michael Carmichael," Harry interrupted. "He's head boy."

Harry heard about their break up…more like who hasn't. If the public separation wasn't being talked about during class or whispered at while staring at the separated teens (on who's going after who, much like Ron right now), than it was carved into the bathroom stalls.

"Yeah that's the guy, anyway, so I go up—"

"Ron," Harry interrupted quite bored by now; "I know this story. You told me six times already. You 'maturely', as the 'gentleman' you are, walk up behind her and politely ask her for a date," Harry said laughing at the face Ron made at Harry's crude impersonation of him.

In truth, Ron was far from a gentleman what with his sloppy way of dressing, crude language and promiscuous behavior, and even though he wasn't the best looking boy in their year, Ron had always charmed his women with a reckless smile then took his dates out for a long snog session. Understandably, His longest relationship lasted about a week.

"God, man, I was trying to tell a story," Ron said in an annoyed voice. "You never let me tell any stories."

"I'm sorry," Harry smiled. "Go right ahead."

Ron scowled the n said in a sad voice, "Now I don't wanna."

"Wanna what?" Lavender Brown a girl in their year asked. She was a classic beauty with golden blonde hair that ran silkily down her back. She also had brown eyes clouded over with mystery. She smiled sweetly at them as she sat down next to Ron.

"Ron was just telling me his story of how he wooed the intellectual Miss Patil into a date with him," Harry said sarcastically.

"Oh…Hey, wait," Lavender said. "I thought Parvati said she would never go out with Ron even if he was the last sperm-carrying male on the universe and she was the last egg-bearing woman in the universe and the survival of the human race depended on them having sex together because she knows oh-so well that's what dates with Ronald Weasley means. Sex!"

Ron smirked at Lavender as she grabbed an apple and chuckled. "I'll give you points on details but, actually, I've got a date with the other one…um…"

"Padma," Harry filled in. Honestly. He wasn't all that surprised by Ron's behavior, he did love women, but to not even remember the girl's name, especially since it is the most talked about gossip at the moment, was just shameful. He shook his head at his friend's idiocy.

"Padma, that's right…And not the other one, Padme-,"

"Parvati."

Ron blushed, while Lavender looked at him with a disgusted look. "Didn't Padma just break up with that one guy?"

"Yeah no one knows his name," Ron joked.

"Michael Carmichael," Harry said. "I told you a few moments ago."

"Yeah, yeah," Ron said.

"Aww," She giggled, "Poor guy." She gave a motherly pout before she burst out laughing. "Let me have him, and I'm sure no one will forget his name because I'll be screaming it all night long."

"Eww, Lav," Ron cried childishly, "You with a sex life is so gross."

Harry stared at his friends awkwardly. A few people had already turned to them form the noise they were making.

"Wait a minute," Lavender heaved as her laughter died off, "If she's into Head boys, which infers, I'm sure, a mature smart boy then why is she going on a date with you?"

"Because why get your heart broken by a smart boy," Ron answered, "When you can have the time of your life with me."

Lavender smiled before frowning. "It kills me when I hear about people breaking up and yet it pisses me off when they are happy with each other, also, but…." She said quietly before looking up at both Harry and Ron, "Jeff broke up with me, yesterday." Jeff was also a 7th year but in the Hufflepuff house.

"Why?" Harry asked, "You two were so happy together."

"I don't know and I lost my virginity to him!" Lavender raised her voice slightly and Ron smiled while Harry blushed; now knowing he was the only one of his friends who was still a virgin. Lavender always joked about boys, but she never confirmed or denied her virginity until now

"Could you say it any louder? I don't think the Slytherins heard you," Ron said.

Lavender looked around herself shocked and blushed. She then lowered her head. Harry and Ron did the same.

"I mean I kept trying to talk to him after that but he always kept disappearing. I just keep expecting people to start whispering around me in the hallways."

"That's different, Lav," Ron said, "No one cares enough about you to gossip."

"Thanks for the bleeding sensitivity. Lighten up a bit, you're drowning me in it," She said deadpanned. "Honestly, Ron, could you be a bigger asshole? Here I am spilling my heart out—"

"Look, I never dump my shit on you so don't do it to me, especially at lunch," Ron said. Harry frowned at him before glancing back at Lavender who looked very offended.

"It's ok, Lavender," He said. "You can come to me. Ron's just an asshole." He hoped Lavender would end the heated discussion with Ron before it turned into a full out fight.

"Not just an asshole," Lavender said, "But a man too," Lavender said coldly not even realizing she was asking the obvious.

"Wow," Harry said raising his eyebrows and laughing "Nothing gets passed you, Lavender."

"Well, I am pretty manly," Ron said, "Even she can't miss that."

"Another stupid male," Lavender responded. "But not you Harry. You are the sweetest boy I've ever met. All the rest are just jerks."

Harry blushed, but he was not flattered. He was actually insulted that Lavender thought he was sweet. Why couldn't he be an asshole like other normal boys his age? Must be because he's still a virgin. Once he has sex, he was sure he would gain that asshole aspect of the personality.

"So, my specimen," She gazed level with Ron, "answer me this. Why are men such Jerks?"

Harry raised his eyebrows higher and glanced at Ron. "Well it's in our genetic gene pool and as I am not a scientist, but I'm sure there is something in there dealing with dormant and dominant—"

"Seriously, guys," Lavender said, "Is your life goal to have as much sex as possible before you die?"

Ron nodded, "Yeah that's pretty much it."

Lavender stared at him with pity, "You do realize you're running on the same agenda as a rabbit." She smiled.

—

At the end of the day, Hermione sat in the 6th year girls' room on Ginny's bed. Her friend was lying on the floor with a magazine. She flipped through a couple of pages before stopping on one advertising lip-gloss. Hermione ran a hand through her hair getting it knotted in her messy curls.

"Ow!" She cried so violently that Ginny gave a small jump.

Ginny looked up at her friend and laughed at her ridiculous expression. "What did you do?" She asked.

"I was thinking and I got my hand knotted in my hair," Hermione answered. Ginny leaned over the bed and grabbed Hermione's hand and began to untangle the hair twisted around it.

"What were you thinking about?" She asked. She finished with her hair and raised her self up so she was also sitting on her bed.

"McGonagall told me I shouldn't quit the paper. She said I just needed something more exciting to write about."

"Like what?" Ginny asked.

"I don't know," Hermione, said, "Something that would attract attention."

Ginny was quiet. She lay back on her bed her head only inches above her pillow but being supported by her elbows. "Write about that Patil girl and the Head boy….something or another….I don't remember his name."

Hermione gasped and stared at Ginny as if the other girl had just said books were stupid.  
"Michael Carmichael! How can you not know who he is? He's in my ancient ruins class and he's—"

"Ok, I get it," Ginny sighed. "But he's hot gossip right now."

"I couldn't do that," Hermione cried indignantly. "He's so nice and smart."

"As if that gives him immunity," Ginny cried, "Everyone is waiting to dig their claws into this story. Be the reporter who delivers the straight up juicy details."

"No, I can't do that to Michael," Hermione sighed.

"Then what do you suggest?" Ginny said, "since you're not going to take my advice."

"I—I don't know, I just don't want to gossip," Hermione said. "I want this paper to be respected. Something I can be proud of."

"Here's an idea," Ginny said sarcastically, "Why don't you go under cover as someone cool and write your big article on that."

"You're cruel," Hermione said as she threw a pillow at the read head.

"Undercover, huh?" She sighed. "As a slytherine? SSSSSsssssSSSSSssss!"

"No, a HUFFLEPUFF!" Ginny said as she hopped on the bed, "Better yet, a guy!"

"What?" Hermione cried laughing. "Gosh, no! I'd be horrible as a Hufflepuff and as a guy. I don't understand either."

"No…wait," Ginny said thoughtfully, "That's actually a—an interesting idea."

"What, the guy disguise or the Hufflepuff one?" Hermione asked.

"The guy one!" Ginny cried and stared at Hermione with wide eyes. "No, take me serious. Listen! Guys, they do stuff differently. They sure as hell act different. Take Ron as an example."

"I wouldn't take Ron as an example of the human race," Hermione said.

"Ok, take Michael," Ginny said. "He and Padma broke up because he was best friends with Lillian Talner and Padma didn't like that. Padma thought he was cheating on her and Michael thought she was too clingy. So going under cover as a guy would give you a firsthand look at 'guy mind'."

"Oh, Merlin," Hermione mumbled, "I don't know."

"Do it," Ginny encouraged as if it was the greatest plan in her life.

"Ginny," Hermione said slowly, "Not only is that weird but what would it accomplish? I don't know if genders should be invaded like that. It could cause release an evil or something archaic like that."

"Not everything you do has to have an accomplishment," she smiled again, "Anyway you could write an article from a girl's point of view as a guy. Find out why they're so horny or why they do the things they do. Like I said different point of views."

"I really don't know," Hermione said. No matter how much she spun the angle, she couldn't warm up to it.

"Oh come on, Hermione. I know twenty girls who would read it. And that's only from my year."

"I don't know…. I'll give it a shot," She consented slowly, "But have you noticed I don't look like a guy."

"Oh," She looked Hermione up and down. "We'll, have to fix that. Go get changed into your pajamas and come back."

—

Lavender walked into the Gryffindor common room and spotted her two best friends sitting on some of the couches. Harry was quickly finishing his homework while Ron played solitary with a deck of cards.

Lavender walked behind them and gently placed her hands on Harry's eyes. She watched as his shoulders relaxed. "Guess who?" She asked.

"Seamus," Harry said jokingly, sounding as if he actually believed it was the Irish boy.

Lavender dropped her hands immediately and smacked Harry's shoulder. "You think my hands look like Seamus's?" She asked in mock hurt.

"Hey, Lavender," He said craning his neck to smile up at her.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she leaned over his shoulder to look at his text books.

"My homework for potions. Snape is having me write the specific reasons for each ingredient in 'Guislah potion'. As if I've ever heard of it."

"Ew! Potions! And what are you doing, Ron?" She asked turning to her least favorite friend. Ron only grunted, clearly not listening.

"Ron has been playing solitary. Poorly, mind you. He's been staring at the cards for little over a half hour. I personally think he's going over sex moves in his mind to prepare himself for his date tomorrow."

"Harry!" Lavender cried eyes wide at him, "You guys are completely barbaric."

Harry only shrugged, "So says the girl who wants to molest Michael Carmichael." Lavender laughed lightly and winked at him.

"Oh you know me," She joked.

Their conversation was only disturbed by Ron who grunted at his cards.

"Ron. Ron. RON!" Lavender cried as she glared at the redhead.

"What!?" He yelled back equally as loud.

"Are you even listening to us?" She asked.

"No," He answered and flipped a card over before groaning, "I just hate this game."

"You're all such horny dicks, you know that?" she said. Ron stuck his tongue out at her. Lavender moved and sat between the two boys on the couch. "I would love to see you guys know how it feels to be in the girls shoes every once in a while."

Ron made a face of disgust at her, "Is this a challenge?"

"Yeah it is," Lavender smiled smug at his horrified expression.

"I think I'll pass," Ron sighed.

"You know," Harry said, "Lav's right."

Ron stared at Harry with his mouth open. "Not you too? Please don't tell me you're going all girl power on me. Where's your man pride?"

"No. But that will be pretty entertaining to see you going around as a girl and getting hit on. You know, see how the other half lives."

"That's gross." Ron said. He gathered his cards up and began to shuffle them.

"No, Harry's right, Ron. You should go under cover and keep a diary too and… and we could send it into the Hogwarts Daily." Lavender squealed gathering attention from around the room while Ron groaned. Harry chuckled softly.

"I'm not doing shit for Granger's paper," Ron said.

"Oh let's do this," Lavender stood up ignoring Ron's complaints. Harry on the other hand smiled at Ron and laughed at the other's glare.

"Go meet me up in your room and I'll get some cloths," She commanded.

"Ay, ay, captain," Harry saluted then grabbed Ron's hand and dragged him up to their dorm.

—

Lavender entered the seventh year dorm just in time to see Hermione exit the bathroom wearing her pajamas. She glanced at Lavender just before leaving. Lavender smiled weakly back at her.

She always felt awkward around Hermione especially with Ron always complaining about her, but she pushed the thoughts into the back of her head as she went towards her bed and gathered some cloths and makeup.

—

Hermione reentered the sixth year dorm and saw her friend going through her trunk. Hermione walked over and sat on the bed. Ginny looked up and smiled. She pulled out some cloths and tossed them onto her bed.

"Ok," she said, pulling Hermione and standing her next to the bed. She then raised a t-shirt. "Put this over your shirt."

Hermione nodded and did as she was told letting out a long sigh.

"This is going to be so much fun," Ginny giggled. Hermione let her arms fall casually at her sides as she warily watched Ginny. Ginny then raised up a sock. It was stuffed with other socks and looking long and stiff like a…

"MERLIN! Is that a… well you know what?" Hermione yelled stepping back with a mix between disgust, horror, and wonder on her face.

"It's a sock," Ginny said as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe but her tone took a sudden change, "Stuffed with other socks." She handed it to Hermione who took it reluctantly from her.

"What am I suppose to do now?" She asked looking at the socks.

"Well," Ginny raised her hand and made a motion of stuffing something inside of something, "Stick it in there." She then pointed to Hermione's pants.

"Ewww!" Hermione squealed, "That is so nasty. I'm not doing that."

"Oh come on no one will know it's you," She glared at Hermione.

"Fine," She said reluctantly. She took the sock and pulled her pants out. She stuffed the sock at the cross of her pants. "This feels so weird," She said uncomfortably.

Ginny was blushing now, "Now stick your hand down there and move some things around, you know? Get some air in there down. You don't want to smell like you have crotch rot, do you?"

"What are you two doing in here?" Germaine another Gryffindor Prefect asked as she opened the door.

Hermione quickly turned around her back to the door and pulled the sock out and. She dropped it onto the bed then pulled the t-shirt off and threw it on top of the sock. She then turned back to Germaine and Ginny.

"I'm gonna turn into bed early," She said. "Goodnight, Ginny, Germaine," She said as she walked by.

As Hermione closed the door she heard Germaine begin questioning Ginny and quickly ran up to her dorm.

—

Harry and lavender both waited outside the seventh year boy's bathroom and waited impatiently for Ron to come out.

As soon as lavender returned from her dorm room she instantly started tossing skirts and dresses and one of the spare girl uniforms at Ron. After a few complaints and her testing skin tones on him she finally shoved him into the bathroom and sat in front of the door refusing him to exit as he tried. After a while he relented and the sound of clothing removal was heard.

Harry smiled as he waited for Ron to exit. He and Lavender both shared a look. She then stood up and moved on to Dean's empty bed. Luckily for the trio, Seamus was on a date with his Girlfriend Elaine Staringcrow, a fifth year Gryffindor, and Dean had taken Neville to the Library to study.

The two waited For Ron to come out. They waited, and waited, and waited, and waited.

"Ron!" Lavender shouted. "Are you coming out?"

"NO!" He replied stubbornly.

"Ron, open the door." She walked over to it and began to jingle the handle.

"Come on, Ron," Harry called.

"No," was the muffled reply.

"That's it," Lavender pulled out her wand and pointed it at the bathroom door. "Allohamora!" She called.

"The lock on the door glowed before dieing down. She then grabbed the knob and swung it open. She grabbed Ron's hand and pulled him out. Harry gasped.

Ron was wearing a wig, which Harry had expertly transformed into red, longhair. He was also wearing a tank top with a with a jean jacket over it. Under his shirt was a stuffed bra meant to give him a woman's curve (also of which Harry had also transfigured from one of Dean's dirty boxers, but Ron didn't need to know). His eyes and lips were lined with Lavender's makeup, which she had expertly applied to him.

Lavender stared too and as Ron entered fully into their view Harry had to admit that Ron made the ugliest girl he had ever seen. His big nose and tall figure made his wide shoulders look inadequate when in a skirt.

Ron started to walk over to Harry and as he did that Harry broke out laughing. "What?" Ron asked, agitated.

Harry smiled, "What was that?" He asked referring to his walk, "It was horrible!"

"Hey, you think this looks so easy, why don't you try it," Snapped Ron.

"Fine," Harry stood up and walked next to Ron. He looked over at Lavender who smiled encouragingly. "Girls are more graceful. They don t stomp like you do." Harry said, "You looked like you had a hip problem." Harry then walked over to the bathroom and back to his bed very gracefully, the complete opposite of Ron.

Ron and Lavender shared a glance with each other than smiled evilly at Harry.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Harry, my dear boy," Lavender cooed, "It appears our plans have changed."

—

This is it! Another Edit. If you feel like it, tell me what you think.


	3. First Impressions Edit

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered.

**One of The Guys**

**Chapter Three**

**First Impressions (Edit 2/8/09)**

The next morning Hermione met Ginny outside her dorm room. She greeted the other girl awkwardly, especially after the previous night. She was a bit agitated that Ginny could behave so normal, using a smile as a greeting. Then again, it wasn't Ginny who was going undercover as a boy.

Hermione shuffled her books from one arm to the other. She didn't like to come back to the common room after breakfast because it became so crowded and also so she could get a good seat in her morning classes.

"Wait," Hermione said when Ginny pulled her out of the common room.

"What?" Ginny moaned, "I'm hungry, let's go-," She pulled Hermione's hand and dragged her down the hall.

"Ginny, Let go," Hermione said tearing her hand away from her hungry friend. Ginny stopped walking and gave Hermione an exasperated look.

"Ok."

"I think I know how to pull that article project off," Hermione said

"Oh you do," Ginny cried. She looked around and lowered her head, "how?"

"Professor McGonagall," Hermione answered.

"Ok," Ginny said slowly. No doubt she was confused. "You want McGonagall to be our guy?"

Hermione shook her head, remembering that Ginny was not in her or year and therefore she had different magic lessons. She lowered her voice even though there were few people around them and began to explain: "McGonagall taught us a spell that can make you look like the opposite sex. I'll have her teach me the spell and then I can put it on anytime I want to."

"Ok," Ginny nodded, "But wouldn't she be confused when you ask about that spell."

Hermione shrugged, "I'll figure something out. See you later,"

Ginny watched her friend walk off towards Professor McGonagall's office before running down to the Great Hall. She silently wished Hermione good luck while giggling at the hilarity of the situation. She was sure Hermione would make an awkward boy, another Michael Carmichael.

—

Hermione walked down the familiar hallway that her Transfiguration teacher's office was located in. She stopped outside the door and prayed McGonagall was already there.

She looked around to see if anyone was watching her before slipping into the room. She was beginning to feel like a spy with all her paranoia and sneaking around. Of course no one was paying attention to her and if they were, they would write it off as another of Hermione's quarks. She gave a sigh of release to see the older, severe woman sitting behind her desk.

"Ahhh, Miss Granger," McGonagall greeted. "What may I do for you, especially before breakfast?" She asked pleasantly. Her voice was light and dreamy and she had a sparkle in her eyes that Hermione had most certainly never seen before. She wondered briefly if Dumbledore found out about her plans and decided to play a joke by disguising himself as McGonagall.

She shook her to get rid of the ridiculous idea, but now that the seed was planted…

McGonagall shuffled with the papers (most letters) on her she had been previously sorting through and hid them in a drawer.

"Miss Granger, I am sure there is a reason you came here other than to stare at me," The Woman gave a smile that certainly creeped Hermione out. What was going on with McGonagall; She never looks this happy?

"Good morning Professor," She greeted remembering her reason for being here. "I don't mean to bother but a friend gave me an idea for and article that might well, will gather attention." Hermione said slowly.

"Well?" McGonagall said.

"Well I was thinking I could take time off the paper to go under cover as a well," She stuttered, "A guy."

"Hmm," McGonagall did look surprised, "That certainly would catch a lot of attention."

"I know!" Hermione said, "Ginny said I could discover the male mind and write about it."

"Miss Weasley's idea, I should have guessed, and you want me to teach you the 'Sunor ot celfer' spell," She said, reading her mind.

Hermione nodded, "Yes, that would be most useful."

McGonagall took off her square glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose, "When do you wish to get started on your 'project'?" she asked.

"Oh," Hermione looked thoughtful. "I guess as soon as possible," She said.

"Would you like me to place it on you or teach you how?" she asked.

Hermione answered without hesitation, "Teach me how."

McGonagall nodded then stood up, "Come to my classroom every night after dinner and we shall practice." She walked over to the door and opened it. "Now off to breakfast."

Hermione took it as her cue to leave. She walked over to the door and thanked her professor before leaving.

McGonagall gave a sigh as the door closed behind Hermione. She walked over to her desk and opened her drawer. Written and cologne-sprayed envelopes in curly red words were, 'To my Dearest Minerva.'

She smiled thinking of the one she loved and how romantic this person was. She sniffed at the envelopes, loving how sensual the smell was before she hid them back in her desk. It would be too dangerous and unprofessional if anyone found out about their love.

—

Ron woke up to Lavender standing at the end of the bed with the curtains drawn wide open. She was staring down at him with a fake morning smile plastered to her face.

"Good morning, sleepy head," She sang in a loud shrill voice.

Ron, now fully awake, punched his pillow in and groaned. "Lavender, go away," He mumbled.

Lavender smiled and tugged at his blankets but Ron grabbed a firm grip on it. "Harry!" She yelled. "Get over here and help."

A moment later a shirtless Harry in only boxers came over and helped Lavender tear off the blankets.

Ron now laid on a bare bed in a wooly, maroon sweater and short, flannel pajama pants that revealed too much of his hairy ankles than what Lavender wanted to see. She squealed as he sat up and looked around the dorm. Apparently Seamus and Dean were given the same wake up call but he could see no Neville around.

"Get dressed and get out," Lavender commanded. She walked over to Harry who was shooting Ron pleading looks and dragged him into the bathroom.

Ron let out a moan, "Merlin, that woman is crazy."

"I know man," Seamus said walking over to stand next to Ron's bed, "She took my sheets away too. And I sleep in the nude." Seamus sighed. "Rough isn't she?"

Ron made a face at Seamus, "Too much information, but I just really need to go to the bathroom."

Ron got ready and left with Dean and Seamus. He knew Lavender must have been doing Harry's makeover, which she and he had forcefully pushed on Harry. Personally, he felt that Harry deserved the torture that is crossdressing. Ron may not have wanted to be a girl, but darn it, it still hurt when Harry told him he made an ugly girl. But still, Ron was a loyal friend so he decided he would hold off his peeing until he reached a different bathroom instead of barging into the dorm bathroom with Lavender and Harry; Harry was probably traumatized enough as it is, and it was only eight o'clock.

—

As Ron and his roommates entered the Great Hall they found Neville sitting with Ginny and Hermione. Ron let out a loud groan as Seamus and Dean moved to sit with them and Ron not wanting to be alone followed.

Neville was in a storm of stuttering as he uttered compliments and flirty remarks at Ginny. On any other occasion Ron probably would freak out but seeing as Ginny could put Neville in a headlock if he tried anything inappropriate, he wasn't that worried about her.

Because of the conversion of the two groups, tensions were high between Ron and Hermione. Breakfast wasn't even halfway over when Ron left the Great Hall, which was a great achievement seeing as Ron had never, no matter what, under any circumstances ever left breakfast early.

—

Harry stepped out of the bathroom. He was wearing a spare female uniform and the bra that had been dirty boxers in its previous life. He was still tall, and still had his quidditch muscles. Harry didn't think he looked anything like an attractive young girl but Lavender argued he still needed his hair and makeup done.

Lavender transfigured Ron's wig to a black color and lengthened it till it reached passed Harry's shoulders and then attacked him with a pair of scissors, layering the wig so it framed his face.

Even, despite Lavender's attempts, there was still a masculine air about him and his awkwardness. Lavender knew that their plan probably wouldn't work any longer than a week but she completely intended to go through with this plan.

She helped Harry gather his books and the two left off to go to class. Outside the room Ron was waiting for them and started laughing when he saw Harry. Though he had to admit, Harry looked a lot better then he did.

Since breakfast wasn't completely finished the trio went down to their first class, transfiguration.

Harry was so nervous, he felt like he was about to throw up. He could imagine the teasing he was about to be bombarded with, he could only hope that Ron and Lavender would stay by his side.

They waited outside the classroom, Lavender every once in a while telling Harry tips on femininity but her words went in one ear and out the other. After two minutes Prof. McGonagall came out. She passed as she glanced at the three students.

"Good Morning, Miss Brown, Mister Weasley, Mister Potter-," She stopped and looked at Harry. She stared at him funny. "I don't think I even want to know," She said. She turned to leave before looking back at Harry. "I'm not here to judge."

Harry smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. "It's for a project, Professor," he said.

McGonagall only raised an eyebrow and nodded disbelievingly. "You don't have to explain to me, I'm not here to judge."

"No really," He said, blushing. Merlin, his teacher thought he was a crossdresser. His manhood was shot and buried.

"What for, then?" she asked.

"It was my idea, Professor," Lavender cut in. "I ah wanted one of them to go under cover as a girl and keep a diary of it… as a learning experience. I guess it isn't gonna work."

"Well," McGonagall tilted her head to the side, "Potter could pass for a girl."

Harry made a face. "Thanks professor," he said sarcastically. Forget dead and buried, his manhood was being tortured by some short horny man wearing a loin cloth and holding a trident.

McGonagall gave Harry a pitying look, "Oh alright," She said to herself, "Potter, come with me, now." She opened her classroom door open and Harry walked in. She followed, shutting the door behind her and moving to stand in front of her desk. She briefly wondered what was in the water that was making her students want to transfigure themselves, but then again, teenagers were known for being adventurous.

Granger and Potter were obviously into more drastic ways of exploring themselves and their sexuality. McGonagall briefly made to talk to Dumbledore about creating a sex education class that could possibly steer the students into more conventional ways of self-exploration. After making plans, she pulled out her wand and said, "Tonera uoytahw tubera ouyohw toneraouy." (**A/N:** This chant is different than the chant in the first chapter because the castor is performing it on someone else and not on his/herself.)

Harry felt a tingling sensation spark in his abdomen and then travel up his chest. In his skin he felt like every tiny hair standing up. He felt his bones change shape and the feeling of someone tickling in him in private area. When the feeling ended he looked around himself as best as he could and noticed he felt shorter smaller, not by much, but the lack of height had a pronounce affect on his perspective.

He looked up at McGonagall and she held out her wand and cast a spell on the wall behind him. Harry wheeled around and saw the wall transform into a mirror. He stared into his reflection and let out a gasp. He took the wig he was wearing off and reached his hand behind his back to adjust the bra. The cloths he was wearing, although feminine, were now too big on his shoulders.

He was skinny and had and average sized chest. His muscles he gained from playing quidditch were well toned and played nicely with his body and his new curves. He had a very cute face and short black hair. He never even imagined that if he were a girl he would look so similar to male form. His was still the same, messy, short hair he grew up with.

He had to admit he looked hot and with that admission, he felt his manhood obliterate.

"Wow!" Harry whispered. He took off his glasses and made a show of cleaning them on the hem of his shirt before placing them back on his nose.

"Mm-hmm," McGonagall nodded, "Now how are you going to explain yourself to the school?" She asked.

Harry's head snapped to her. "I didn't even think of that," He said. "Oh my god! They'll know!"

She looked thoughtful; "well I'll go tell Professor Dumbledor he'll explain everything. Come along."

She led Harry out of the office and past Ron and Lavender who were waiting outside the door. Harry blushed at Ron's expression. He was gaping at Harry and his eyes held a lust Harry hoped to never see directed at him from another guy ever again.

A few people stared at him as they walked to Dumbledor's office. Mostly boys stared because they were interested in finding out who the new girl was and how they could seduce her. The girls were just curious to know the new girl who was exciting all of the boys and how they could become friends with her. As all of this was happening, Harry tried to hide himself behind his Professor.

They reached the statue that blocked the Headmasters entrance. McGonagall said the password: "Raspberry drops," and they watched as it jumped out of the way. They than climbed up the moving staircase to the office and knocked on the door.

The Headmaster called them in. He sat behind his desk smiling pleasantly at the two. He gestured his hand out towards the cushioned chairs in front of him before folding them back in front of him.

"Professor McGonagall, Who do we have here?" He greeted still smiling.

Harry looked at his professor before turning to look at his headmaster. "This, sir, is Harry Potter," Said McGonagall.

Dumbledor instantly sent an intense look at Harry who shivered under his gaze. "Hmmmm," he said slowly, "I see. May I ask what happened?"

"His friends and he decided he would go under cover as a girl and keep a diary of the events to follow this," Said his professor.

"We were going to send the entries in to the school paper," Harry said, "As soon as we're done."

McGonagall looked at him, "Really?" she asked. Harry nodded. "Headmaster," She said to Dumbledor, "May I talk to you in private?" she asked.

"Of course. Harry, would you mind waiting outside?"

Harry shook his head.

As he left the room McGonagall walked to Dumbledore's side. "Miss Granger came to me earlier with the same issue." She said. "She wanted to learn the 'Sunor ot celfer' spell so she could learn to do it herself. She too was going to write about it in the newspaper. Maybe they can both do it."

Dumbledore nodded. "Don't tell Hermione what the Harry is doing and via-reverse. They might blow their cover, otherwise." McGonagall nodded. "They'll be exchange students from two different schools. We'll say they switched with Harry and Hermione."

McGonagall nodded, "Should we tell the staff?"

The old man shook his head. "No, they too might reveal something. Let's allow Harry back in."

McGonagall went to the door where she found the Harry sitting on the ground with his knees together and his ill-fitting skirt covering them perfectly. "You can come back in," She said.

Harry stood up with awkwardness before following his professor into his room and again sat down in the chair he sat in earlier.

"We will be having an exchange student coming in later in the week," Professor McGonagall lied. "He is coming in from… Beauxbatons. He and Miss Granger will be switching for a couple of months. We don't see the harm in letting you pretend to be an exchange to student from Durmstrang."

"Does that work out, Harry?" The Headmaster asked kindly.

Harry nodded. "But not Harry," He said, "Something else."

"Right," the two adults agreed. "How about Carmen? Kate? Cathy? Kayla? Julie? Lisa—" Were just a few of their suggestions.

"No? How about Harriet?"

Harry shook his head, vigorously.

"No," He said. "That will remind them of Harry then they'll start to get suspicious. We should steer clear of the H's." He looked thoughtful. "Do I look like a Carmen?" He asked.

The two adults smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

"You thought of this before haven't you?" Dumbledor asked kindly, his eyes twinkling. He smiled and chuckled a little (students, these days).

Harry blushed and nodded his head meekly. "Evie." He said raising his head and looking at them, a blush still faint on his face.

"Evie's a beautiful name," McGonagall said. Harry smiled at her gratefully and she stood up and led him to the door. McGonagall turned her head back to the headmaster. 'Evie?' She mouthed with an amused expression on her face. The headmaster chuckled before following her out.

The trio walked down the halls to the Great Hall. Along the way Harry saw Ron and Lavender hanging around in the entrance. Once they saw Harry, they trailed behind, weary of the adults. As they entered the Great Hall, Harry and the two professors walked towards the front of the room. Students began to notice them and them, some pointing at Harry in confusion. He shuddered and stood now before the full hall. He also noticed to his disgust a few Slytherins catcalled his way.

"Attention everyone," Dumbledore said, "This year we are having an exchange program. Mister Potter and Miss Granger will be exchanged with two students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. Mister Potter has already left and Miss Granger will be leaving shortly."

Hermione stared at the Headmaster in confusion. She never agreed to be part of an exchange program. She looked over at Ginny who only shrugged.

"In replace of Mister Potter is Evie…Evans who is exchanged from Durmstrang. She has been sorted into Gryffindor and I hope for all you students to treat her with respect."

—

The third chapter edit is completed! Review if you want.


	4. Bitter Thoughts Edit

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**One of The Guys**

**Chapter Four**

**Bitter thoughts (Edit 2/19/09)**

Harry sat down next to Ron and across from Lavender after Dumbledore's announcement. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and tried to move in his skirt.

"Something wrong?" Lavender asked.

"My clothes are too big." Harry said. He ran a hand through his hair and looked around the Great Hall.

"You can borrow mine from now on. I'd say were about the same size," She smiled. "So, Evie, huh?" She asked, "What made you think of that name?"

"I don't know. I guess I like the name," Harry said defensively. Lavender smiled and raised her eyebrows up at Ron.

"You guys suck. Do you know that?" Harry said. He knew what they would do. They would make fun of him even though they forced him to do this. Though, he did feel guilty because he knew he would probably have done the same thing to Ron if they hadn't switched places.

Harry gobbled down his breakfast in a very 'unlady-like' fashion before he rushed back to the common room to get his books. He figured he had left them there with all the commotion of what he was doing. Harry quickly gathered his belongings and then ran dawn to meet his friends.

He met them on the way to transfiguration. Ron had a goofy smile as Harry came over.

"I talked to Parvati-," Ron started.

"Padma!" Lavender and Harry said in unison. Lavender gave Harry a look with big brown eyes and he instantly went quiet. That's right. How would 'Evie' know who she was?

"Padma, Ron," Lavender corrected softly after Harry let the insight sink in, "Honestly, If you can't get the name right, why are you even going out with her?"

"Because I like her," he said glaring at Lavender. "Anyway, I just talked to her and she's still on for tonight. Hey Harry—"

"You guys got to start calling me Evie now or people will get suspicious," Harry said in a soft, low whisper.

"Right, Right, Right," Ron said. "Evie, how does it feel to be a real woman?" he asked.

Harry adjusted his books in his arms. "It's ok I guess. A little uncomfortable and people won't stop looking at me, and my underwear is giving me a bit of wedgy…"

"Duh, Har-Evie! You're a total babe!...except for the underwear bit. That's kinda weird," Ron said, and then his face lit up in sudden excitement, "Can I carry your books?"

Harry looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "You'll do that for me?" Ron nodded. "Then yeah, ok, sure." he dumped his books on top of Ron's.

Lavender glared at Ron. "How come you never carry my books? I mean I am a 'real' girl."

"Yeah I know but-but look at him!" Lavender looked at Harry and smacked Ron's shoulder, almost making him drop the books before entering the classroom. Most of the class was already sitting. Lavender cut through the room and sat in the trio's usual spot. Ron being slower followed with Harry behind him.

McGonagall smiled as they sat down. "I'll start the class off by introducing Evie Evans. She is exchanged from Durmstrang." She said. "Evie will you please stand up."

Harry stared at McGonagall in shock. "What?" he asked stupidly.

"Would you please stand up," She said, "and introduce yourself."

Harry glanced around and sadly stood up. "Um, my name is Evie Evans and you all know I came from Durmstrang. I'm 17, I like quidditch and uh-well that's, uh…it." he finished, lamely. He felt stupid basically repeating what the teacher said. Harry looked around and by their expressions he guessed they thought so too.

"Thank you, Miss Evans," She said. "You can take your seat." Harry nodded and quickly sat down.

* * *

Hermione stared as the new girl moved uncomfortably from class to class. She apparently became good friends with Ron and Lavender as they now laughing at something Ron just said.

She snorted. The only reason Ron was being nice because he wants to do her, Hermione was sure. 'That is such a guy,' she thought bitterly. She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't even notice Neville who had been trying to get her attention.

"I mean who does she think she is—" she said.

"Hermione—" Neville said.

"I mean does she notice the looks guys give her—"

"I'm a guy and I'm not—"

"I bet she does. Look at her thinking she's all that. Look at her—"

"Hermione—"

"I mean look at her." Neville took a glance just to please her.

"I looked. Happy? Now will you listen to me?" he asked annoyed. Hermione looked over at Neville and blushed.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

Neville nodded. "It's ok," He paused. "Why do you care so much about how guys react to her?"

"I'm a girl. I think I'm entitled to act on a little bit of dislike for other girls."

Neville nodded. "You know what?" He said smiling. "Guys only like her because she's new. You know? Like cows. Bulls don't like going back to the same 'old' cow every night. They just won't. They want 'new' cow, and Evie is that."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Neville that made no sense, what-so-ever. And did you just call me a cow?"

"Ok forget that… but you know she's not even that pretty. With that short hair and she's too skinny."

"I guess she isn't considered a 'cow' like the rest of us, huh?" Neville blushed and ducked his head, ashamed.

"Sorry," He mumbled.

"I think she's doing _avant-garde._ It's French," Hermione said intelligently.

"But she's not French. She's Bulgarian," He said daftly.

"You know what?" Hermione asked thoughtfully. "I don't even think she's Bulgarian. She has no accent and "Evans' is an English name I believe."

"Hmm," Neville nodded. He stared at Evie. He couldn't understand why Hermione had such an animosity towards the other girl. Evie seemed nice from what he saw if not a little shy but she had a great figure and a toned body and short black hair, which now that he thought about looked nice together. He just really couldn't see why Hermione didn't like her, especially since her glasses gave her a librarian look, a sexy librarian. Neville just barely contained a blush.

He looked over at Hermione who sent a bitter glare at Ron, Lavender, and Evie. Evie did seem close to Ron. He was carrying her books after all. 'Wait a minute,'

"Hermione," He said, "Do you like Ron?"

Her head snapped up to his fast, and she stared at him shocked. "No of course not," she said still shocked, "What makes you ask that?"

"Well… Evie hasn't done anything evil to you or anyone. The only thing she's done is hang around Lavender and RON," He hinted.

Hermione scowled at him. "I do not like Ron. He's been nothing but the bane of my existance." She growled. "I hate Ronald Weasley."

* * *

Ron rushed to dinner where he saw Lavender and Harry sitting near the end of the table. Ron was about to move their way when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and found Padma Patil standing there with a glare on her face.

"Ron we need to talk," She snapped.

"Sure thing Padme-,"

"Padma!" She shouted. She led him towards the outside of the Great Hall. "You are a major jerk."

"What? What did I do?"

"You and that ditz-faced, new girl," She yelled, her face was red with embarrassment. "You were carrying her books for her to ALL of her classes!"

"We're friends!" he defended.

"You just met her," Padma said. "You're friends with Lavender and Harry. How come you never carry any of their books?"

"Harry's a guy and Lavender, well it's just Lavender," He replied.

"It's just lavender?" She repeated. "What? She doesn't deserve to have her books carried for her?"

"Why are you getting huffy about that?" Ron asked confused and frightened, "I thought you were mad at me for carrying Evie's books and now you're defending Lavender? Lavender is subhuman, that's why I don't carry her books."

"Ugh!" She cried angrily, "Just face it. You're attracted to what's her face—"

"Evie."

"Whatever!" Padma shouted. "You like her, but why? She's not that cute!"

"You're only saying that because you're Fat!" He couldn't believe he had said that. He knew she wasn't fat but her bad-mouthing his best friend pissed him off. He had to defend Harry, especially now that he was a cute girl and needed his honor defended…

She stared at him for a moment and her eyes were blank. She suddenly snapped her eyes down to her body and began to straighten out her uniform. She then turned cold brown eyes on to Ron. "We're over. I can't believe I even agreed to go on a date with you. Even after Parvati warned me about your reputation."

"My reputation?" He asked.

"That you promise girls your heart to get them into bed with you," She answered. She stared at him and her eyes began to water. She blinked after a moment to stop the tears forming before turning around and walking away. As she walked away Ron noticed her shoulders were hunched and she was holding her hands in front of her. When she was gone Ron turned away, feeling empty, and joined his friends silently at dinner.

"What was that about, Ron?" Lavender asked as she saw Ron sit down. He ignored her and began to shovel piles of food on to his plate. "Ron?" She asked again. "Are you ok?"

* * *

I got the new cow theory from a Hugh Jackman movie, _Someone Like You_. Not sure if I said it right, but here you are with another edit.


	5. The Lesson and the Couple Edit

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**One of The Guys**

**Chapter Five**

**The Lesson and the couple (Edit 2/21/09)**

After dinner was finished and everyone was retuning to his or her common rooms Hermione quickly broke off and made her way down the familiar hallway where her head of house's office was. She reached the room and knocked.

The professor was already waiting for her. She pointed to the seat in front of her and Hermione eagerly sat down. McGonagall moved and stood in front of her.

"Evening, Miss Granger," She said. "Wand out." Hermione did as she was told. "Point it at yourself." McGonagall did this as well. "And say 'Tonma Itahw tubma Iohw Tonmai', and mean it." McGonagall then redemonstrated.

Once again the male version of her head of house stood in front of her. Hermione was now getting nervous. What if when she changed back she was stuck with hormones from both sexes. She shuddered and looked back at her professor.

"Well?" McGonagall asked.

Hermione shuddered again and nodded. She pulled out her wand and recited, "Tonma Itahw tubma Iohw Tonmai." She felt a tingly sensation run through her face. It was a familiar feeling. She usually felt it when she was embarrassed and now she knew her face was flushed. She closed her eyes and waited for the feeling to pass.

"Ahem," McGonagall coughed.

Hermione opened her eyes. Mcgonagall was smiling at her and her hands were clasped together.

"15 points to Gryffindor!" She cried.

"I did it?" she asked.

"Not quite, but very close," Her teacher said, "None of my students have ever come as close as you have on their first try."

Hermione smiled. "What did I change?" She asked.

"Your face," She answered. Hermione wanted to see a mirror but before she could open her mouth in shock. She looked so different and yet so very much the same.

After a few moments of Letting Hermione admire herself, McGonagall reversed the spells affects and told her to do it again.

—

Ginny was sitting in the common room on one of the squishy chairs, facing the fire. In the chair next to her she had her schoolbooks piled up and a half written scroll for potions.

She heard talking behind her and twisted her head around the chairs back to see her brother talking to the new girl. They were whispering but because she was close enough she could hear parts of their conversation.

"—Date tonight?" Evie said. She learned closer to Ron and asked very quietly, "When?"

"During Dinner," Ron answered. He was turned away from her, so Ginny couldn't read his face, but his voice sounded funny.

Now Ginny was confused. Was he asking Evie out? Didn't he just ask Padma out? "Face it, Ginny, Ron's an asshole," She mumbled to herself.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, if I was—" Evie went low and mouthed the rest of her sentence out so Ginny couldn't hear. "—With you."

"Ewwwwwwww!" Ron called but he was smiling all the same, "It does kind of make me feel better but disturbed all the same…Actually, now that I think about it, how about you—Me, tonight, I can make all your dre—"

"No, Ron," Evie said and abruptly turned away.

They stopped talking and continued with their homework leaving an eavesdropping Ginny to be very confused. She had no clue what they were talking about when in actuality Evie was just comforting Ron over being dumped.

Ginny didn't have time to ponder what they were doing when someone moved her things from the chair next to her to the floor next to her. It was Neville. She smiled at him as he sat down and she quietly noted the deep blush on his cheeks.

"Are you ok, Neville?" She asked.

He looked at his hands and nodded. "I just wanted to talk to you. Since you're not doing anything and neither am I and since were both not doing anything, do you want to hang out? In a nonromantic way, of course, if you're uncomfortable or it could be a date if you wanted it to be one—"

Ginny looked at him confused. He was speaking all in one breath and she was having a hard time understanding him. "Neville you're babbling."

He smiled. "I don't babble. I mean I know I mumble, and I know I pronounce words wrong, but I don't babble," He said and then blushed.

"Neville," Ginny said smiling, "Don't sweat it. It's cute that you babble." It was true, most of the time she was around Neville he was stuttering and babbling. At first the way he talked annoyed her but their joint friendship with Hermione exposed her to him to the point she was use to it, even found it adorable. But she admittedly liked Neville better when she could understand what he was saying.

"Ok, you don't babble. Now, you're rambling," she corrected, but quickly cut him off before he could say another word on the subject, "You wanted to talk?"

Neville looked uncomfortable. "Um yeah, I uh, I wanted to say that I like… thatIlikeyouandwanttogooutwithyoubutonlyifyouwantto."

Ginny stared at him, "excuse me?" she asked.

"Sorry, I guess I was out of line--" he began to say as he stood stiffly.

"Out of what line? What are you talking about and what did you say earlier, I couldn't understand you."

Neville breathed in and out. He squeezed his eyes shut and began to speak in a deliberately slow voice, but his body was tense and Ginny could tell he wanted disappear, "I like you and I want to go on a date with you…but that's only if you want to."

Ginny smiled sweetly at him as he looked down at his feet.

Neville was ok but she never imagined going out with him. She never really thought of him as boyfriend material. I mean sure she flirted with him but he was a guy and she flirted with all guys and it was usually him who started it. It was only natural to flirt back, Right?

She watched as He fidgeted nervously. She thought and understood that he must really like her because he asked her out and he's never had the courage to ask anyone out, which was sad for a seventh year boy.

"Sure… Neville," She didn't even hear herself answer. She liked Neville but not the way he liked her and she didn't want to lose their friendship by hurting him by answering no.

He looked so happy it was tearing her up by leading him on like this.

—

Wow, this chapter is obnoxiously short.

(A/N: This is the conversation between Evie and Ron in the common room that Ginny was listening into.)

**_"—Date tonight?" Evie said. She learned closer to Ron and asked very quietly, "When?"_**

_"She broke your date tonight?" Harry said. He leaned closer to Ron and asked very quietly, "When?"_

_"**Well, if it makes you feel better, if I was—" Evie went low and mouthed the rest of her sentence out so Ginny couldn't hear. "—With you." **_

_"Well, if it makes you feel better, if I was really a girl," Harry went low and mouthed the last part of the sentence out. "I'd go out with you?"_

A/N: Another edit, review if you want to.


	6. Second Impressions Edit

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**A/N: **I'd like to say sorry for the grammar areas, I did have a friend reading my story and she did point out mistakes but both of us, I guess, are too lazy to find all of them.

**One of The Guys**

**Chapter Six**

**Second Impressions (Edit 2/21/09)**

_Dear Readers,_

Today was my first day as Evie Evans. And I must say it was uncomfortable. Being a girl sucks. Between wearing a skirt and having guys look at my chest all day was, to say the least, not an enjoyable experience. I did get Ron to carry my books all day and Guys opened the door for me, which was cool. I didn't even have to skin my Pygmy Rocdite in potions because the Hufflepuff boys were all too willing to do it for me.

But I still hope being new wears off and guys stop staring at me. I also hope that the girls stop sending threatening letters…

_Harry 'Evie' P._

—

Harry walked down to the great hall excitedly. Today was Saturday and he had no classes. He also had a good night too…oh yeah. Much to Professor McGonagall's horror and anger and Ron's jealousy, Harry was allowed to sleep in the girl's dormitory due to the fact he was suppose to be a girl and the only people who knew the situation were his best friends, the Headmaster, and McGonagall. To treat Harry differently would only arouse attention.

Speaking of 'arouse', Harry made sure to make use of his new identity and was able to start a pillow fight between the seventh year girls that is until Lavender came and yelled at him. Hermione also didn't participate, so it was more of a pillow fight with Parvati who kept asking about Ron, which weirded him out. Harry made a vow to not pimp Ron out to his new Roommates.

Walking behind him were Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley. Hermione was glaring, well not really glaring but giving him a hard look, which for some strange reason was really hurting him. Harry couldn't explain it. He didn't know her, he barely talked to Granger. Why should he care what she thought of him? But instead of not caring, her glares were really affecting him. Damn Hormones.

As they reached the doors to the Great Hall, Harry noticed Hermione took a turn down a different corridor, which he knew led to the headmaster's office. Ginny was the only one behind him now and was now standing beside him as he opened the door. She smiled politely at Harry as he held the door open for her.

Ginny walked over to the Gryffindor table and was about to take her seat in her usual spot when someone called her over. She looked up and saw it was Neville. He was waving her over and she was getting embarrassed from the attention they were getting.

With a blush on her face she walked over to him. He was sitting with her brother, Ron, Lavender and Evie who had walked by her at the moment. Seamus and Dean were sitting across from them so she decided to sit on their side since it wasn't very crowded.

—

Hermione reached Dumbledore's office quickly. Inside Professor McGonagall and he were waiting for her. Both of them were sitting. She walked over and sat down Next to her transfiguration teacher.

"Are you ready?" Prof. Dumbledore asked.

Hermione nodded.

She pointed her wand at herself and recited the chance. She felt the tingly sensation rush through her. She had already seen what she looked like last night when she finally accomplished the spell.

She had the same color hair. It was light brown but it was shorter, much shorter. She still had her bright cinnamon eyes and a studious look about herself. She wasn't very muscular but she wasn't scrawny, either. She was also taller but well proportioned and not gangly like Ron. Over all she was very attracted to the way she looked.

She turned to her Headmaster with a triumphant smile on her face when he started laughing. Her smile turned into a frown. Why was he laughing? She didn't do anything. She turned to her head and she was shaking her head trying to conceal her laughs.

"Miss Granger," Her headmaster addressed. "Do you have any spare cloths?"

Hermione shook her head. She folded her hands neatly in her lap when she felt it. There was no material separating the legs that you should feel when you're wearing pants. She looked down at her legs and saw it. She wasn't wearing pants. She was still in her skirt.

She blushed. "Umm…" she looked back at her Headmaster, "I don't have any pants."

McGonagall finally broke out laughing and Professor Dumbledore chuckled. Hermione's blush increased.

McGonagall finally took pity on her star pupil and volunteered to go get a spare pair of paints for her. Hermione waited patiently for her to return in the office when she did return she was holding pants and a new shirt. Hermione looked at her questioningly when she noticed her shirt was too tight. Her blush returned but it was much lighter.

McGonagall handed Hermione the cloths and she slipped her pants on under the skirt before taking them off but as she did that she noticed she only ripped her skirt, as she was now bigger than before. She turned her back towards the teacher and undid her shirt and replaced it with the bigger size. Just because she was a boy was no reason to let the teachers perve on her.

When she was done Professor Dumbledore spoke, "Now let's work on your alias. We felt, given the circumstances, that it would be much easier to say that you are a trransfer student from Beauxbatons and you have switched places with Hermione Granger."

She figured pretending to be an exchange student was much better than making up and all new story since there already was an exchange student no one would be too suspicious. Brilliant! She nodded agreeably. Maybe everything would go smoothly.

"You will need a new name," Professor McGonagall said, "I guess we should let you chose."

Hermione nodded and began to think. If she were a guy what would she be named? Lance? Christopher? Luke? Cameron? Ryan? David? She liked those names but she wanted to seem reasonable so she ruled out Lance and Cameron. Now that she thought about it none of these names would fit in with her disguise. She needed French names.

Pierre, Christoph, Noel, Mathieu, and Oliver were the only French male names she could think of. Her favorite was Noel because in French it meant Christmas but she didn't want her name to be that. Pierre and Christoph were out because they were just too different and she didn't want people making fun of her name and Oliver was the name of Gryffindor's old quidditch captain and she didn't want to remind them of him. So she picked Mathieu because she had always liked the name Mathew.

"Mathieu…" She stopped. Now she had to think of a last name. Mondego, she only knew that name from the book 'The Count of Monte Christo' but she was having a hard time thinking of French surnames so just chose it. "Mathieu Mondego."

The two adults stared at her. "Now that is sorted out, why don't we go down before breakfast is over," Dumbledore said. Hermione nodded and the trio walked towards the Great Hall.

As they entered heads turned their way with the correct assumption she was the new student from Beauxbatons. As she walked between the tables a few girls winked flirtatiously and giggled when Hermione looked at them. She blushed uncomfortably and looked over at the Slytherin table. Malfoy was glaring at her, apparently upset that the female students were attracted to the new guy.

Hermione than turned her attention to her friends at the Gryffindor table. Ginny was staring at her, her mouth open wide and Neville was looking between Hermione and Ginny with an indescribable look on his face. Ron had a similar expression as Malfoy's, which she usually saw on his face when Hermione was near him, but at least this time he had the decency to at least try and hide it with a neutral expression. Dean looked curious and Seamus looked close to curious with another expression on his face, which made her feel uncomfortable. The last were Evie and Lavender who both looked interested but obviously for different reasons. Lavender looked close to Ginny, and Evie's expression was just indescribable.

Hermione walked to the front of the Hall and Dumbledore gave an announcement and while everyone was clapping a few girls squealed. She noticed a few people from the other houses give jealous looks over at the Gryffindor table obviously jealous that all the new students were put in that house. Ginny moved over so Hermione could sit between her and Seamus. He also moved over so there was more room for her to sit down.

"Sooo," Ginny dragged out, "Mathieu," She said giving her a slight smile. "I'm Ginny Weasley and that is my brother Ron," Hermione shook hands with them and Ginny continued to introduce her to the rest of the gang. She smiled politely at each of them. The last hand she shook was Lavender who giggled slightly her face a little red after they let go of each other. She was slightly unnerved by it, but was a little happy that Ginny and Evie didn't react that way but she only guessed it was because Ginny knew the truth and Evie was just very strange.

They finished their breakfast and Ginny offered to take Hermione out and 'show' her around the school. Neville was not happy about this. He immediately moved to Ginny's side and wrapped his arm around her shoulder with sudden possessiveness. Hermione had never seen this side of him before. Neville looked at Ginny who looked annoyed but nodded sweetly at him. The trio walked out of the Great Hall leaving the others behind.

"He's very interesting," Lavender said. She leaned over to watch the 'new guy' leave and bit her lip as he moved his butt back and fourth.

Parvati who wasn't sitting far away moved to take Ginny's spot. She gave Ron and Evie a nasty look but quickly gave her attention to Lavender. "So?" She asked. "What's the deal with the new guy, '_Mathieu'_?"

Lavender shrugged her shoulders as she sat back in her seat and gave the Indian girl her attention. "He's cute. Too bad Ginny seemed to have claimed him."

Parvati nodded. "Did you see the way Neville was acting?"

"No duh!" Ron moaned. Parvati gave him an annoyed glare. "Neville has a huge crush on her and last night he asked her to be his girlfriend. He was singing about it in the shower this morning."

Harry suddenly got interested. He was angry he wasn't there to find out and now all of a sudden Ron's telling him.

Both Parvati and Lavender nodded. "But if they're going out then why was she flirting with Mathieu?"

"If Frenchy so much as thinks about making a move on my sweet, innocent, baby sister, I'll kick his ass!"

—

The trio wandered outside. None of them had said anything. Ginny was upset she couldn't talk to Hermione alone, and Neville was thinking or more like brooding about the fact Ginny was flirting with the new guy. He felt threatened to see that the new guy didn't look to excited to have him there, either. They settled around a tree near the edge of the lake and sat contently in the shade.

Hermione cleared her throat and stared at Neville and Ginny. "Are you guys like a couple?" she asked.

Ginny nodded and Neville picked her hand up and held it in his laps. Ginny and him looked at each other and gave a smile; Ginny's was a slight a grimace. When she turned back to look at Hermione her eyes were big and she looked annoyed.

Hermione just smiled at her, though despite the fact she couldn't let loose on Ginny about her gender situation at the moment, she was happy for Neville. He had always been crazy about the redhead. Maybe he can woo Ginny into loving him, too. Wouldn't that be something?

—

Well, there is chapter six EDITED! Anyway, I'm not even gonna lie, My name was one of the French names Hermione was thinking about…I am that arrogant.


	7. Partners Edit

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**A/N:** Thank you all for reviewing. I'd like to dedicate the first two paragraphs of this chapter to **Sandyspark. **I hadn't originally planned on having Harry's thoughts on "Mathieu" as the next chapter and at the last minute decided to write something quick. So enjoy!

**One of The Guys**

**Chapter Seven**

**Partners (edit 2/21/09)**

Apart from being a girl for the past few days, nothing exciting had really happened except for the new French, foreign, exchange student, Mathieu Mondego. He was interested, it wasn't everyday that you met someone from another country. He smiled as he looked at Lavender. He could see wheels spinning in her head and watched as she bit her lip. Poor Lavender was on the rebound and poor Mathieu was her pray.

He vaguely made plans to pop popcorn and find a nice comfy spot in the commons room to watch her make her advances and in the process probably kill all manhood within the new boy. She was quite skilled in that art. It's amazing she ever had a boyfriend at all, she was so scary.

As Professor Dumbledore made an announcement Harry studied the physique of the new student out of mild curiosity. He was skinny, but not exactly bony or wimpy; he also had curly brown hair that was cut short around his ears. All in all, Harry couldn't deny he had a nice body but quickly checked himself at the thought. Instead he attempted to hide his curiosity with a look of indifference but failed miserably.

He quickly distracted himself with conversations off on his side all the while internally cursing his damn hormones.

* * *

Sunday swept by quickly and during that Hermione had to endure furtive glances from Parvati and Lavender and angry glares from Neville, but whenever she would look up to meet his eyes he quickly looked away as if he had been doing nothing. Ginny also had been spending more time with Neville, too. They studied and ate lunch together but whenever they were apart Ginny would come and talk to Hermione and ask her how it was going (and to bitch about Neville, poor Neville).

It was now finally Monday and class was soon to start. The large group, Ginny, Neville, Hermione, Evie, Ron, and Lavender were sitting at the Gryffindor table talking casually about classes. Seamus was off eating with his girlfriend asserting his masculinity (opening jars and flexing his muscles, etc.) and Dean was somewhere being artistic, Hermione was sure.

Ginny was pounding Evie about Bulgaria but before she could even answer either Ron or Lavender would distract her. Hermione had found that suspicious, but didn't think anything of it. Ron and Lavender appeared to have adopted Evie as Harry's replacement and the two of them were quite demanding of attention in their own right, much like toddlers demanding attention from their older sibling.

Hermione felt oddly comfortable with her situation. It was nice not to be ignored, sure she didn't mind 'Hermione time' but having people to talk to who weren't Ginny was nice too. But whether the attention was because she was new or because she was 'French' didn't bother her much. She enjoyed France when she visited after second year and enjoyed talking about the country. France did have some of the oldest remnants of magic, dating back as far the prehistoric—

Hermione jumped in surprise and let out a tiny squeak. Lavender totally did not purposely just rub her foot against Hermione's knee. No, it was merely an accident.

Breakfast continued on and they were almost finished eating when Dean rushed into the Great hall with an excited expression on his face. When he saw them he walked over to their seats and sat down across from Ron.

"Guess what," He said.

"What?" Lavender asked.

"We have a project for care of magical creatures' class," He said, "It's going to count for half of our grade."

Hermione felt excitement bubble inside of her. It was a great way to distract her from Lavender's babbling, but for Harry, the announcement had the exact opposite effect. He was feeling dread for what dangerous creature Hagrid might have them study. He looked over at Ron and saw that he shared the same fear.

When they finished eating the seventh years broke away from Ginny and left towards their first class of the day which for them was now potions and where they were learned how to make veritaserum and then divination where Professor Trelawny for once did not Predict Harry's death but she did get to Ron and claimed he would die from a hex shot by a jealous ex-girlfriend. Harry did have to admit that was probably the most possible prediction she had said since Harry had first met her. Ron however was not amused.

Hermione after she had potions broke away from her friends to go to arithmancy. The other students (Mostly Ravenclaws) didn't even bother talking to her and to her disappointment the teacher, Professor Vent, actually seemed relieved that 'Hermione Granger' wasn't in the class and that just put her in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

When it was time to go to care of magical creatures class outside, which they shared with Hufflepuff, she was irritated and it didn't help that on her way to said class a bunch of Hufflepuffs flirted mercilessly with her.

In this classes the only person who really talked to her was Dean and Seamus since she was avoiding Lavender. Ron seemed nice to her (only because he didn't know her true identity) but she wasn't ready to take him on as a friend yet, and Evie, she, for some reason, couldn't seem to find a reason why she disliked her so much (Ginny told her she was just jealous), but she did. And she couldn't even turn to Neville for companionship because he would behave so stiff around her.

But even Dean and Seamus weren't that great. As his normal self, Seamus seamed so calm cool and collect but now when Hermione hung out with him he seemed jumpy and strange. He started hanging out with his girlfriend more and from what Ginny told her the girl was thinking of dumping him because he was acting too clingy. Dean was nice and all but he was sports freak and would always talk about Football.

When she reached the class Hermione met the two boys and took a seat on the grass. She saw Lavender, Ron, and Evie come in. They nodded at them as a way of greeting before sitting a little bit in front of them.

* * *

Harry and his friends sat down in front Seamus, Dean, and Mathieu. And as soon as Harry sat down he felt extreme discomfort and a fear his underwear was showing. He began to fidget. Lavender kept hissing at him to stop moving and Harry kept glaring at her. Finally she had to help him adjust his skirt so it wouldn't ride up her thighs but when they finished to Harry's horror he noticed half the boys in the class, including Ron, were staring at him. He blushed and stopped moving.

A few minutes later Hagrid came out and with a crate. Because they were sitting they couldn't see what was inside of it. He set it down in front of his cabin and dusted his hands off.

"Now, Class," He said. "I will be pairin' ya' off for about a month. Each group will be given an egg to take of as a parent."

A few people started to get excited and few guys winked over at Harry. He glared at them before turning his attention over at Hagrid who began to call names out.

"Lavender Brown and Neville Longbottom, Parvati and Ernie MacMillan, Hannah Abbot and Ron Weasley, Evie Evans and … Mathieu Mondego…"

* * *

Hermione blinked. She turned to stare at Evie who at the moment turned to stare at her their eyes met when at that moment Hagrid gathered their attention.

"Now, why don't ya' get wit' ya'r partner and come up her' to pick yar egg."

Hermione got up and walked over to Evie who was dusting off her bottom. The Bulgarian gave her a slight smile before turning over to the crate Hagird had brought out. The two of them walked over to it along with the rest of the class. Inside were about 10 or 12 hard-boiled eggs. They were large about the size of each student's head. Hermione looked at each one carefully before pointing out one closer to Evie who reached into and gently pulled out the egg. They walked back to their spots, Evie still holding the egg.

"Ok," Hagrid said, "Now that every 'un got their eggs every Monday ya'll gat a task and must complete it by Friday. This week's task it to name ya' egg, give it a gender and write an essay on its personality all the while not breakin' it."

"That shouldn't be too hard," Hermione said casually. She looked over at Evie who shrugged.

"What do you want? A girl or a boy?" She asked casually.

Hermione looked thoughtful. If she were to be a parent in real life what would she want? "I guess a girl…"

"Ok," Evie shrugged. "I don't really care."

"So it's a girl we need a name," Hermione said. What was her favorite name?

"Jenna? No, Otylia," Evie joked.

"What kind of name is Otylia?" Hermione asked clearly annoyed. "I've never heard it before."

"Its Polish," Evie answered.

"No," Hermione said. She glared at Evie. She was pretty sure that was the name of the number one Female Quidditch player. She only knew this because Ginny was a fan.

"How about Karen?" Evie asked.

"Ok," Hermione agreed. Evie began to look at the egg. She raised it to her face and stared at it closely. "What are you looking for," he asked.

"There's a mark on the egg," she said absently. She lowered it and looked over Hermione who moved under her gaze and shifted for a moment. "You look familiar."

Hermione raised her eyes and looked at Evie in shock. "I-I do?"

Evie scrutinized her for a longer moment than shook her head. "Never mind, do you want me to do the essay or-"

"I'll do it," Hermione jumped in.

Evie nodded. For the rest of the class they talked casually about what they expected to come of the year and for the first time having an actual conversation with each other.

* * *

Ron and Hannah were chatting casually. They decided to have a girl as well. They named her Stephanie. At the moment Ron was flirting mercilessly away with his partner whose face had turned beet red and was giggling.

She was laughing so loud that people had turned to stare at them raising eyebrows at them.

"I just love your hair," He commented.

She blushed. "Thank you," she said.

"It smells like strawberries," he said. She began giggling again and a lot people started to give them more than just raised eyebrows but the two ignored them. "So, Hannah, Would you like to go out sometime?"

She opened her mouth; her face was still red, and nodded. "S-sure. I'd love that."

After she answered Ron felt a pair of angry eyes on his back. He turned around to see Parvati glaring at him murderously. He gulped quietly before turning to Hannah again. Sometimes it was difficult being sexy; someone was always going to get hurt. Maybe if he caught Parvati alone, he could pencil her in for next week.

* * *

I DON'T UNDERSTAND! What is going on with Microsoft word's word count vs. Fanfiction's word count. They are always two different numbers!


	8. Malfoy Edit

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Eight**

**Malfoy (Edit 3/3/09)**

_Dear Diary,_

_Today Hagrid paired us up with partners to take care of an egg. Normally this would not have bothered me but this project requires all of us to take on the roles of our gender stereotypes…Meaning I'm the mother. This is uncomfortable beyond belief for me and my discomfort was not made any better when the boys in the class kept staring at my ass. _

_I wonder if maternal instincts kick in for girls or something, because I don't feel anything…that could be because Karen is an egg, but I saw a Hufflepuff girl singing a lullaby for her egg earlier. Hopefully my 'manliness' won't affect Mathieu's and my grade._

_Harry 'Evie' P._

* * *

_Harry looked around desperately. His nerves were on end. Beside him Mathieu was pulling on his hair, his face white with fear. _

"_What should we do, Harry?" Mathieu asked, and Harry idly wondered, how the other boy knew his name, before he understood the question. _

"_I don't know, I don't know where she could have gone. KAREN!" Where could Karen have gone? She couldn't go far…she doesn't even have legs!_

"_Karen!" Mathieu called beside him, "Karen!"_

_All of a sudden the two of them were in the Great Hal when Mathieu unexpectedly grabbed Harry's hand. _

"_Harry!"_

"_What?" Harry asked. He felt horrified when he felt the warmth emanating from their touching skin: He was scared stupid when he realized he enjoyed it. _

_It wasn't until he saw Ron eating breakfast that he realized what had frightened Mathieu. Ron was eating a large meal consisting of a large scrambled egg._

"_OH RON!" Harry cried. Karen's shell lay next to the redhead's plate. "YOU ATE HER! You ate our daughter. How could you?"_

"_You should try some, mate, the bloody best breakfast I've had since Mum's cooking."_

_Suddenly Mathieu broke into tears and collapsed into Harry's arms…_

* * *

Harry woke up and leaned foreword in his bed to stretch. As he did so, he was given a clear look of the wooden basket that Mathieu had transfigured from a quill. Karen was laying peacefully, her white shell glowing in the darkened room. Upon seeing this he was painfully reminded of the Care of Magical Creatures' project.

"God damn you, Karen," He whispered at the egg wanting to kick her and her basket off his bed. Thanks to the stupid egg, he was dreams off Mathieu. He didn't dislike the other boy, he just didn't want to have dreams of him…or Ron for that matter "Oh crap!"

He covered his mouth in horror.

"I'm sorry, Karen. I'm a bad da—mom—I'm sorry!" he winced again at the insanity of him talking to an egg. It's too early in the morning to be dealing with this egg crap. The whole idea was stupid; he couldn't believe Hagrid had even assigned it as a project: Take care of an egg. It wouldn't even hatch. It was practically a tempting breakfast (For Ron, maybe).

Mathieu didn't seem all that pleased to be paired with him either despite how he behaved in Harry's dream, and Harry felt indignant at that. He wasn't that bad. He had been nothing but nice to the new boy but he seemed to be giving him the cold shoulder.

Harry groaned in frustration and quickly ran his hand through his hair. The one thing about his female body he liked was that his hair was still short. It made him feel more like 'Harry' but the girls he was sharing the dorm with kept telling him to grow it out that it would make guys like him more, like he needed that. He liked the fact that his short hair, it was reminiscent of his true body and plus he didn't know how to tie pony tails (Seriously, took me forever to learn how).

He got out of his bed and walked over to his chest to pull out his school uniform, He was thankful Lavender let him borrow hers or he would have had to deal with his skirt falling down his legs. He quickly changed and grabbed his books and Karen before walking out of his dorm.

Mathieu was waiting for him at the bottom of the steps. "We should make her clothes." He said thoughtfully.

Harry stopped on the stairs looking at Mathieu. "I beg your pardon?" He asked.

"Karen," The French boy said, "We should get her clothes."

Harry nodded, not really enthusiastic.

"Do what you want, I don't really care," He remarked.

He shifted and shoved the egg into Mathieu's hands and started to walk off towards the common room exit. He really didn't know what possessed him to act so dry towards the other boy but he really didn't want to put up with Mathieu's snippy attitude this morning.

The other boy was just glaring after him as he left but he felt he deserved it. Harry usually thought himself optimistic when it came to meeting new people but Mathieu was pushing it. Harry shook his head and sighed. He walked by a few boys who stopped to watch his ass as he walked away.

He felt disgusted and violated. They didn't have to stare at him as if he was some dress up doll, though at the moment he felt like one. The act the boys put on when they saw him or some other pretty girl walk down the hall reminded him of Ron. For a moment Harry wondered if any girl felt disgusted when Ron stared at them or flirted obsessively.

He shuddered at least Ron wasn't acting like a pervert to him…most of the time.

* * *

Hermione woke up the next morning in the boy's dormitory. She was for a few moments confused as to where she was. Ron was digging through his chest for a pair of socks and looked towards her when she sat up.

"You're up, mate," Ron asked. "Well hurry up and get dressed we don't have all day."

Hermione made a face at Ron behind his back. She really didn't like him. She stopped when she heard someone across the room snort. Seamus had been watching and he was laughing at her and Ron. She looked to him and saw he was leaning against the wall and smiling at her.

Still laughing he walked towards her and whispered, "I know, he is an ass," and left.

Hermione felt a blush come on her face at how close he was to her but she quickly scolded herself. She shouldn't allow herself to blush around her dorm mates especially when she was a man or with Seamus; He already had a girlfriend.

Ron didn't wait for her to get ready and left without her with the other guys while she was still in the bathroom. She hadn't expected him to wait for her; after all, Ron was selfish but it had still hurt to be left behind.

She went downstairs when she remembered the project from the other day. She was not looking foreword to working with Evie Evans. This was turning out to be a perfect day…not.

She waited five minutes for Evie when the other girl appeared at the top of the stairs. She was carrying her books and the egg. What had they named the egg? She couldn't remember. It began with a 'K'. Was it Kerry, or something?… Karen? That was it. It was Karen. Evie didn't look too happy to see her but who cares; it was the egg that had her attention. It was naked.

"We should make her clothes," Hermione said.

Evie stopped and looked at her weirdly. "I beg your pardon."

"Karen. We should get her clothes."

Evie stared at her before saying, "Do what you want I don't really care," and shoved the egg into her hands. The girl walked off without even looking back.

* * *

Classes passed with unimportant banter between students. Hermione had seen Evie a few times during the day and they had switched off on who would take care of the egg. Hermione had it for the morning classes while Evie had it after lunch.

Now Hermione was heading outside for care of magical creatures holding the egg, Karen. She groaned when she saw a group of green-clothed Slytherins smirking at her. They were laughing and pointing at her as though she was the funniest thing in the world.

"Look, Its magnificent French Man who birthed an egg!" Draco Malfoy called out to her. He was standing in the center of the laughing Slytherins.

Hermione glared at them and tried to ignore them.

"Why so quiet, Monsieur?" He called out to her again, his French accent horrible. This time he and his band of idiotic Slytherins moved towards her and surrounded her in a circle. "Did that butch of a partner, Evie, abandon you with the baby?"

Hermione felt indignant at that. Sure she didn't like Evie but she wasn't a butch, just tomboyish, and Hermione didn't like Malfoy talking about her like that.

"You're one to talk." Hermione snapped back. "I heard you partner was Pansy Parkinson. She's more of a man than you!" A few of the Slytherins started to chuckle.

"Shut up!" Malfoy yelled. His voice raised a pitch or two.

Hermione couldn't help but smile.

"What's going on here?" a feminine voice asked. Hermione and the Slytherins turned their heads to see Evie Evans and Lavender Brown walking towards them. "Malfoy, what do you want?"

"I want you, princess," He joked. Evie scowled.

"Leave her alone, you pervert!" Hermione called. She shoved her way through the wall the Slytherins had formed and stood next to Evie and the silent Lavender. "Let's go." She said to the two girls. "They're not worth it."

With that, Hermione turned her back and headed towards Hagrid's Hut. A blue light shot past her and she smiled at the shooter's bad aim. But apparently he was much luckier the next time because blue light hit her square on the back and she fell forward at the force.

"Go away!" Lavender screeched and then Hermione heard the girl shout out curses at the Slytherins.

"Wow, are you ok?" Evie asked. She had put her hands on Hermione's shoulders and was trying to help her to her feet.

"I'm fine," Hermione answered. "What spell did they use?"

She looked closely at Evie's face and saw she was trying hard not to laugh. "Nothing on you but your…clothes." Apparently it was too much for Evie and she started laughing.

Hermione looked down at her cloths and groaned. "Not again."

"What?" Evie asked.

"Nothing," Hermione said. She once again found herself as a boy in a skirt but this time it was bright pink with polka dots and kitten faces. She whipped out her wand and pointed it at herself and said the reverse incantation. "I hate him," She mumbled.

"Me too," Evie mumbled. "He's just jealous because all the girls think you're hot." Evie squeaked at what she just said and shook her head as if to take back what she just admitted.

Hermione laughed at the almost-attempt at flirting from the Bulgarian. Evie was odd and so far the only girl who hadn't blatantly hit on her (even Ginny had her moments), so Hermione was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Why thank you," Hermione mumbled and took glee at the blush on Evie's face.

"I wasn't hitting on you," Evie said, "Just so you know. I wasn't being a creeper, I was just stating fact."

"Ok," Hermione wasn't sure if she should be comforted or sad by that admittance, but decided to just take comfort that at least Evie wasn't a boy-crazy fangirl.

"What a jerk!" Lavender said angrily as she collapsed next to Evie on the ground. She had just come back from her almost-dual with Malfoy but he had run off before she could even hex him. "We better hurry class is a bout to begin."

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, already chapter 8, I'm about half-way through with my edits! I can't wait to get chapter 17 posted.

Haha, I'm so stupid. I wish I could rewrite this project out, but that would be too much trouble. Also, Malfoy is really retarded in this chapter. I really like his character so I'm sad I wasn't able to do him justice.


	9. The Date and Revelations Edit

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**A/N:** Sorry for the Long update. I had for past while lost my muse and stopped writing all together. So thank you all who reviewed and will continue to review.

**The pink cow:** You'll find out in this chapter.

**Bite x me:** Yes it was.

**Michelle Moonshine:** I had been thinking about giving him his period so it'll probably happen soon.

**2crazedredheads:** Thank you Emily, I had thought about Noel but than that would have been too narcissistic on my part.

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Nine**

**The Date and Revelations (2/22/09)**

Lavender left Harry and Mathieu to go join her partner, Neville, with their egg. He was sitting in the grass and nearly jumped when she squeezed his shoulder. She enjoyed making the nervous boy jump. One would think he was terrified of girls.

"Hey, Neville," she said casually. He looked up and smiled pleasantly at her.

Ever since he started dating Ginny, he had grown more confident and slightly more social but he still held the clumsy 'Neville' traits that everyone had come to know and love. "So how's our little egg?"

They still hadn't decided what gender their egg should be. "Uhh… Its doing fine but I think it's time to name it."

"Ok," Lavender said and sat down next to Neville.

He gasped silently at how close they had now become. Their knees were touching and he felt his face glow bright red.

"B-boy or g-g—"

"Boy or girl? Hmm," Lavender cut in to stop Neville's stammering. "I want a boy, because everyone else has girls and so our little guy can pimp-out as soon as he reaches puberty." Lavender laughed and Neville gave her a weird look.

"Pub-berty? We wont have them that long will we?" Neville asked seriously.

"They're eggs Neville, they don't grow. I was only joking," Lavender corrected. "So it's a boy, his name is Charles and his personality is rough, adventurous and he's devilishly handsome."

"Wait, we didn't decide anything, I—" Poor Neville looked all too confused.

"Boy, Neville you're certainly a man of conversation. Ginny must find you absolutely fascinating." Lavender's over confident voice, which she was speaking in through the entire class period to Neville, suddenly shrank to uncertainty at the look on Neville's face. He had grown rather quiet at the mention of his girlfriend. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, let's just write the paper and be done, please," He said.

"Neville, I've never seen you like this before, you're so stiff," She said. She looked at him worriedly. "I'm sorry if I said something wrong."

"It's nothing," he said as he pulled out parchment and began to write down what Lavender had said about 'Charles'.

"It's just…" He slammed his quill down, ok didn't slam it. It slipped from his fingers onto the floor and he had to bend down to pick it up. He was not at all aware that his pants had stretched down to reveal his underwear and butt crack.

"Neville!" Lavender gasped out laughing at the major crack-attack that he assaulted her with. "Neville."

"What?" he asked as he sat back down pulling his pants up as he did. She shook her head holding back laughter. She simply waved her hand motioning for Neville to continue with his original thought. "Oh, yeah, It's just I don't think she likes me in the same way that I like her."

"Ginny?" Lavender asked, the laughter gone from her face. What he said probably held some evidence. Ginny had been spending a lot of time with the 'hot' new foreign French guy, lately and spending less time with her friends. It was no wonder that Neville was getting Jealous.

Jealous. Wow, Lavender never thought of Neville as the type of man to become jealous. He always seemed too sweet and here he was with her in class brooding over a girl. Just thinking Neville was capable of jealousy made her see him in a whole new light. He was normal, clumsy but normal, a normal man, that's all.

"Don't worry about it, Neville," Lavender said at last. "Ginny wouldn't say yes to date you then cheat on you. She's not like that."

"Yeah," Neville mumbled. Lavender couldn't tell if he believed her or not.

* * *

Harry and Lavender sat on his old bed (now Mathieu's bed) in the boys' dormitory's they watched Ron pop his collar. He was admiring himself in the mirror as they watched in silent laughter.

"Ron, Ron, Ron," Lavender laughed. "What are you doing?"

Ron whipped his head around. "You like what you see?" He attempted to put on his sexiest voice but failed miserably. He popped his collar again. "Smell my cologne." He stretched out his hand and Lavender sniffed his wrist and instantly gagged.

"Let me smell," Harry asked. Ron moved his wrist beneath Harry's nose and he took a big whiff. He understood why Lavender gagged. He smelt like cow dung. "So that's what that smell was? I thought some one over flooded the bathroom again."

"Ha ha ha," Ron growled sarcastically. "You laugh but you don't realize this cologne is the key to my charm. It's what's gonna get me some tonight." He smiled cockishly.

"Get some?" Lavender laughed. "Some of what? A slap? Her throwing her drink in your face for your disgusting behavior—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies. Let's not be nasty," Ron cut in and winked at Lavender and Harry, who both scowled. He walked away from his mirror and smiled at them. "You may be jealous of Hannah because you aren't getting any of 'this'…"

He gestured to his lanky body and made Lavender break out laughing along with Harry.

"Hey don't laugh," Ron hollered. "I'm a sexy man! Damn it."

"No you're not," Lavender said as she still laughed. "You're just a stupid man."

"No I am not! The ladies love me. You'll see," Ron cried. "Now if you excuse me, I have a date. You know, where two people spend some romantic time together over candlelight and then have sex—"

"I know what a date is, you buffoon!" Lavender cried and she chucked the bed pillow at him landing him in the head.

"My hair!" He cried and ran back to the mirror and grabbed a comb and began to comb it again.

* * *

Harry and Lavender managed to push Ron out of the dorm and had to drag him down the steps. He was so bent on making his appearance perfect that he probably forgot he was late but as soon as they told him so he hightailed out of there as fast as he could, leaving the Harry and Lavender alone.

Ron met Hannah outside her dorm. He had run the entire way and his hair would have been a mess again had he not of dumped half a jar of magical hair gel on it. Harry made fun of him by making comment about his head looking like plastic, than calling him 'ken'. Ron didn't understand it but both Lavender and Harry broke out into hysterics. Ron made a mental note to look up 'ken' (Whatever that was?) later.

Hannah was wearing simple jeans and a yellow sweater with her straight red hair falling simply over her shoulders. She looked very simple and plain but Ron smiled sweetly at her anyway. She may not have been beautiful but she was cute.

Ron then took Hannah to Hogsmead and to the three broomsticks. So maybe it wasn't a candlelight dinner but Hannah obviously wasn't expecting anything fancy. She laughed and giggled at Ron all the while sending him adoring smiles.

After dinner the two went window shopping sometimes stepping in to browse but neither had brought enough money to spend on anything besides dinner.

* * *

Seamus couldn't for the life of him figure out what was wrong with himself. He had been acting weird since the beginning of the year or so said the boy who was sitting opposite on the couch as they played exploding snap. Dean was winning thanks to Seamus' lack of attention.

His girlfriend had finally dumped him claiming he didn't pay her enough attention (Of course after claiming he paid her too much attention). _Woman, pshh!_ He thought he paid the right amount of attention, but probably not the kind she wanted. She wanted him to be passionate but he just couldn't. He found himself not attracted to her anymore. It was weird.

"You need to get over her, man." Dean sighed. "She isn't worth it if she's just going to dump you."

"Mm-hmm," Seamus mumbled as Dean finally defeated him in the card game. He didn't say anything because at that moment Mathieu walked in. It was obvious the boy was at the library because he came in carrying several thick books.

"Hey, Mathieu," Dean called. Mathieu looked over in their direction and smiled. Dean motioned for him to sit beside them. For some strange reason Seamus felt his palms grow sweaty and his forehead and cheeks flush. "What's wrong with you?" Dean asked.

"Nothing," Seamus squeaked out just as Mathieu sat down next to him. The foreign boy dumped his books onto the floor and rested his back to the chair.

"What's up?" Mathieu asked.

"Just playing exploding snap, but Seamus is on another planet," Dean answered. "His girlfriend dumped him."

Mathieu looked to Dean then to Seamus with a sympathetic expression. "Oh, that's horrible. I'm sure she wasn't worth it."

Seamus made a sound all too well aware at how close they were sitting. Mathieu gave him a strange look then smiled.

Dean stood up from where he was sitting. "I got to go. I'm gonna go find some one who will actually play tonight." He raised the deck of cards to emphasize what he meant. "So, bye."

"Bye," Both Seamus and Mathieu said

"You don't seem that upset by it, is something else bothering you?" Mathieu asked as soon as Dean left. "I promise I won't tell and plus I'm a good peer mentor."

"A what?" he asked.

"Peer mentor—It's a muggle thing. Just know you can trust me."

Seamus gazed over at the French boy who was sitting beside him. He had turned his body so he was facing Seamus. His chocolate hair, Seamus noticed was adorable and slightly curly and his cinnamon eyes were glowing and sympathetic. 'wow!' Seamus' mind squealed in his head, 'where did that come from?'

"Seamus?" Mathieu reached out and grabbed Seamus' hand that jumped and shrunk away from him. "Seamus, what is wrong?" Unaware to the other boy, Seamus felt a tingly sensation between his legs and also grow incredibly warm. He looked down at his lap and saw a bulge begin to form.

"I—I got to go. I…Bye," With that Seamus tore away and ran up to his room as quick as he could.

* * *

"What the hell was that about?" Hermione asked her self as soon as Seamus left. She only wanted to comfort him. Simply shrugging she picked up a book and continued reading.

* * *

Hiding in the safe haven of his closed bed curtains, Seamus attempted to slow his heavy breathing and calm his nerves. Nothing was wrong with him, he was perfectly fine. It was common for boys to get aroused by other boys, right? Just because he had a hard-on at the touch of Mathieu didn't mean anything.

"I'm sure Dean and Neville have those too," he mumbled to himself. "I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, Matt is a good looking guy. Well not just good looking but super hansom. That's it. Hell, I'm sure Ron thinks so too. Yeah that's right. I am ok. I am not gay. No siree. Not me." Just as he pondered this Mathieu's face appeared. This did not help at all seeing that the 'bulge' in his pants had not at all gone. "Oh God, I am gay."

* * *

_Next: Harry and Hermione grow closer._


	10. Lavender the masseuse Edit

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Ten**

**Lavender the masseuse (Edit 12/18/09)**

Ginny and Neville had been sitting in the commons room watching the whole affair with Seamus. The two of them were finding it hard to hide their smiles.

"He sure is a strange fellow, isn't he?" Ginny asked. Neville only nodded.

Ginny was sitting next to Neville on a plush couch with his arm wrapped around her shoulder. She didn't pay mind to it much but something was nagging at her mind and she couldn't quite place it.

"How was your day," he asked.

Ginny didn't answer. The nagging had to be because of Neville. Her and Hermione's friendship was just the same as ever and she really never really let anyone else's emotions or actions get to her. But now that she was with Neville, she noticed that his behavior was starting to become…off.

She at first tried not to wrap her brain around it, but now it was very distinct in his behavior. At first he was all jealous, and truthfully Ginny didn't like that. She in fact hated when a guy became possessive but in retrospect maybe she was shoving her friendship with the 'now-male' Hermione in his face. After that, it was as thought he gave up. He simply stopped following her and Hermione around and always had this 'kicked' puppy look on his face.

"Neville?" She asked.

He looked at her and was surprised when she stood up from the couch and sat on his lap. She was light as anything but very warm. He squirmed beneath her.

"Ginny what are you doing?" He asked surprised. He jumped up and she fell to the floor with an ungraceful thud. "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry." He bent over to help her stand.

"Neville, the trick is: when a girl sits on your lap, you don't stand up," a laughing voice said from behind.

Both Ginny and Neville turned their heads to see Lavender smiling at them. She had just come from the girl's dorm, where hours earlier she and Evie had run up to when Ron left for his date. Her brown hair was over her shoulder and in her arms she held their egg, Charles. Neville smiled and blushed, embarrassed, at her.

Ginny was fully standing now and saw a look of understanding pass between the two seventh-years. She knew they were working on a project together but why did they have to share looks? Girlfriends and boyfriends shared looks and sometimes really good friends but she highly doubted that Neville and Lavender were 'really' good friends.

Ginny cleared her throat and both Neville and Lavender smiled at her.

"I should go," Lavender said still smiling. Ginny only gave a stiff nod. "I see Matt over there all by himself, a first in days…so, um, bye."

With that Lavender almost ran to Hermione's side. 'Poor Hermione' Ginny thought but was also not ashamed to admit 'better Hermione than Neville she's slobbering over.'

"So…uh…You two are friends?" Ginny asked uncomfortably.

"Yeah we're partners-" Neville said.

'What!' Ginny's inner dialog squealed indignantly.

"-In care of Magical Creatures Class," he finished.

Ginny sighed inside, 'Stop jumping to conclusions! Now who's jealous?'

"Oh just shut up!" She snapped at herself forgetting that she had spoken aloud.

"What? I-I didn't say anything," Neville said nervously.

* * *

Hermione's head popped out from the book she was reading. She had just felt the weight shift on the couch she was sitting on. Her first thought was it was Seamus returning from where ever but looking up she saw it was Lavender brown. Inside she groaned.

For the past few days Lavender and Parvati…well, basically every girl in school had been chasing and flashing seductive smiles at her. Hermione briefly wondered what the girls would say if they discovered their precious 'Mathieu' was none other than Hermione Granger in disguise.

Lavender wasn't that bad, though. She wasn't nearly as giggly as Parvati but she did tend to think she had one-over the other girls because of the Malfoy incident the other day.

"Hey, Matty," She giggled. "What are ya' reading?" She asked pulling her knees to her chin and starring at Hermione with big, round eyes.

"A book," She was in no mood for the flirty girls, not that she ever was.

"I'm bored," Lavender said in what she hoped was a flirty voice. Hermione have been roommates with her for years so she knew Lavender wasn't like this on a regular basis. "Can you read it to me?" She continued in her baby voice.

"Why don't you go find Evie," Hermione suggested.

"She's boring, not like you. You're really interesting."

'I doubt that,' Hermione thought. Half the school did ignore her normally.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Lavender asked.

"No, I'm busy." Hermione raised the book she had been reading.

"Come on. We can talk and get to know each other. We'll have fun."

"No, I'm good...sitting right here and reading my book."

"Please-"

"No!"

Lavender gave her a scandalized look but quickly wiped it off her face. "You're just too tense." Suddenly her eyes sparkled and she slid her body closer to Hermione. "I have the perfect remedy for you." She placed her hands on Hermione's shoulders and began to give her a massage.

At first Hermione couldn't deny it felt good but suddenly her senses cane back and she practically flew from the couch.

"What's going on?" Another female voice asked.

Lavender and Hermione looked up to see Evie standing there with a curious look on her face.

"A whole lot of nothing," Hermione heard Lavender mumble to herself.

'Damn straight!' Hermione thought. Lavender picked up her egg from the floor and ran back to her dorm. Evie watched her go than turned back to Hermione and smiled.

Hermione couldn't help but smile back at her.

* * *

Harry couldn't help but smile at the adorable look on Mathieu's face right before Lavender ran off. He could actually understand for once why all the girls were head over heals in love with the French student. He was, when he wanted to be, very charming.

He jumped onto the couch next to Mathieu. "What was that about?" he asked.

"With Lavender?" Matt asked. "She just wanted to go for a walk.

'What a player,' Harry thought. "From what I could see she looked like she wanted all more then that," he joked.

Matt scowled but then his face contorted into a loose smile. "These chicks…" he said uncomfortably, Harry could tell, "They're crazy."

'And yet you don't look seem interested,' Harry thought.

Harry continued the conversation by teasing the other boy a little more before asking what he thought of Hogwarts. They switched from topics but not uncomfortably. In fact, Harry was proud to see that he and Matt had broke the ice and the other boy wasn't as snobby as he first thought.

Actually he was quite nice.

* * *

_Next: Harry starts to get feelings for Hermione while Ron becomes quidditch captain._


	11. Captain Edit

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Captain (12/18/09)**

It was twelve o'clock when Ron entered the commons room. His hair was ruffled but other than that his appearance gave away no evidence that he and Hannah had not made out. Despite it being a less than physical date, he actually enjoyed it. Hannah was actually very sweet if not a little…prude, but the date was still enjoyable.

In fact, the date was so enjoyable he had asked the Hufflepuff girl for another date the following Hogsmead trip. She smiled and giggled a shy yes. He then escorted her to her commons room and said quick goodnight. She had only pecked him on the cheek but he didn't mind.

He shuffled through the commons room and spotted a sleeping Harry resting his head against a sleeping Mathieu and hugging his arm. Ron nearly snorted aloud when he saw this and wished he had the Creevy brothers' camera. He suddenly got an idea and ran to his dorm. All the curtains were drawn around the beds, which was good because he would be able to get away with this easier.

He walked to Dean's trunk and opened it. Inside were muggle cameras scattered around within his cloths. Ron picked up a random black camera and rushed back to commons quietly. He stood before the pair and snapped several pictures. He flinched every time it snapped aloud. But apparently both were heavy sleepers and neither woke up except for Mathieu who made a silent yawn and snuggled closer into Harry.

This time Ron did snort and giggled. In fact, he giggled all the way up to his room. He kept thinking how funny it would be to see Harry's face when he saw the pictures. 'He'd probably freak,' he thought as he placed the camera in his trunk. Hopefully Dean wouldn't notice it was gone.

After that he changed into his pajamas and went to sleep. In the morning He'd send the camera to his father and have him develop it the muggle way.

* * *

"Wake up," Someone whispered in Harry's ear. He moaned and swatted at the person he was poking him. "Ow! Stop that! You're going to wake up your 'friend'."

"What?" Harry asked not really caring. He tried to snuggle into his pillow further, it was very large and warm, but he kept hearing someone laugh.

"I told you he did that when you try to wake him up," a new voice said, which sounded a little like Ron.

"Ok, I believe you, alright," the first voice said back in a bitter tone.

"Ok, what," Harry asked. He lifted his head and blinked his eyes. He readjusted his glasses which had fallen askew as he was sleeping. He wondered why he hadn't taken them off when he went to bed. As his vision came into focus he saw Ron and Lavender staring at them. "Ron, what are you doing in here?" He asked.

Ron smiled at him and shook his head slightly from silent laughter. "Look." He pointed a finger next to Harry.

Harry looked and squealed and saw what Ron was smiling about. His body on impulse jumped as he untangled himself from the other boy. He had fallen asleep on the couch in the commons room with Mathieu Mondego. "Oh my God, did I fall asleep like that? Did anyone see me?" He started to ramble off questions.

"No!" Lavender Cried angrily.

"Hey," Harry replied indignantly. "Don't think I enjoyed sleeping like that. I'm not another person you have to compete with for his attention."

Lavender scowled then her face relaxed into a slight smile. "I'm sorry…You—you're right."

"It's alright." Harry mumbled and stood up. He dusted off his clothes and looked at the couch he awoke upon. Matt was still asleep and had turned onto his side on the couch. "At least it was you guys who found me and not someone else."

Ron fidgeted. "Yeah, but I got pictures." He said and then giggled.

Both Lavender and Harry glared at Ron. "What?" They shouted.

"Why would you do that?" Harry cried.

"I don't know—Blackmail?" Ron shrugged. "It was late; I wasn't thinking straight… you two looked so cute together."

"Oh thanks," Harry said sarcastically. He glared at Ron quickly then let Lavender lead him off to the girls' dorm to get changed.

Ron was soon left alone to wake Mathieu.

* * *

Harry, Ron, Lavender, and Mathieu, who was trailing behind them slowly, were, in no time, walking down to the Great Hall for breakfast. The hall was nearly empty if it wasn't for the teachers and a few Ravenclaws. When they sat down Mathieu moved so there was just enough room for two or three people between him and Harry.

Lavender gave him a longing look. "He's so cute." She whispered staring at him. Harry looked at her then to Matt and saw the same thing he saw last night. An understanding of why any girl could fall in love with him. His stomach flopped and turned away quickly.

"Ron," He whispered.

Ron looked up with a piece of egg hanging from his mouth. "Yeah?" He asked.

"I completely forgot about quidditch," He whispered. "We need a new seeker and a captain. Just tell the team at one of the practices that I made you captain."

"Yes!" Ron cried and stood as he punched the air. Everyone in the hall looked at him. He blushed and sat back down. "This is awesome. So cool. I'm finally quidditch captain."

"Yeah," Harry said with raised eyebrows then turned to pile his plate up with bacon.

"This is great, I'll schedule a practice tonight and tomorrow, and—"

"Tonight?" someone asked. All three turned to look up and saw Ginny and Neville sit down. Ginny sat down next to Matt and Neville sat down between her and Harry. "What's tonight?"

"Quidditch practice," Ron said. "And guess what, I'm captain."

"Who the heck would make you captain?" Ginny snapped.

"Harry Potter," Ron said smugly.

"Then he's nuts," Ginny scowled. Harry frowned while Lavender and Ron laughed at him secretly. "Honestly, Ron, you're not even good at quidditch."

"I am too," he defended.

"Oh yea, then why do I always score against you?" Ginny countered.

"I—I let you, that's why," Ron cried.

"Ha!"

"Really, I let her score a few goals and now she thinks she's God's gift to quidditch," He mumbled under his breath. Anyone who heard chuckled.

Soon after their little argument Seamus and Dean came over. They both sat down and soon Ron had engaged half the group in a conversation for a quidditch replacement for a seeker but Harry couldn't help but stare at Matt as he looked bored just eating toast. Some jealousy also peaked in Harry as Seamus kept giving the other boy secret looks then blushing.

'Like, what the hell?' Harry cried to himself. 'Why do I even care?'

"So, Matt," Lavender asked breaking Harry's thoughts. "Do you play quidditch?"

Matt looked over to her. "No."

"Oh—"

"Evie, you play quidditch," Ron said immediantly. "Maybe 'you' can replace Harry?" Ron spoke the words slowly and dramatically so Harry could catch on.

"Sure, yeah, I remember mentioning that," He lied.

"Great it's settled," Ron said happily.

* * *

"Can you believe that?" Ginny complained. "Harry made Ron captain that's just plain horrible."

She was escorting Hermione and Neville to their transfiguration class. Neither Hermione nor Neville spoke but instead allowed Ginny to rant about quidditch.

"The world has gone mad!" She cried. "Unbelievable."

They stopped outside of the classroom and peaked inside. A few students were already there chatting with their friends. Hermione saw professor McGonagall reading a letter then bring it to her nose to smell. When she lowered the letter Hermione saw that she had a smile on her lips.

"Look at her," Ginny also noticed Professor McGonagall. "She looks so happy."

"Yeah, I know," Hermione said.

"What are we looking at?" a voice whispered.

"Ahh," Ginny squealed. She turned around and punched the person who whispered. It was Ron, and his two friends were standing behind him. "God, you're so creepy. Stop it."

"What?" He rubbed his arm and glared at her. "But seriously what are we looking at?"

"Its—" Ginny began but was cut off.

"Excuse me, Miss Weasley, I do believe your class is beginning." Professor McGonagall said stiffly as she came to the door.

Ginny squeaked and jumped back. "Yes, ma'am," She said.

McGonagall stepped out of the way and let Neville, Hermione Ron, Evie, and Lavender enter the classroom. Ginny had just turned around and was about to go to her potions class when she heard Lavender speak.

"Hey, Neville!"

Ginny turned her head sharply and weakly felt jealousy pulse through her. 'Lavender,' the voice in her cried, 'She better back off.'

* * *

_Next: Hannah breaks Ron's heart_


	12. The Break up Again Edit

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Twelve:**

**The Break Up…Again (12/18/09)**

In transfiguration class, the students were still practicing the 'sunor ot celfer' spell. Harry found himself sitting out during this class alongside Mathieu. He found it obvious why he wasn't allowed to practice the spell in public but wondered why Mathieu couldn't. Maybe it was because he was new but at the moment Harry found that it didn't matter.

He and Matt (as he began to call him), because they were bored, were sitting at the back of the classroom discussing where they left their conversation last night. At some point during the class Matt began a conversation involving house elves and human rights. Harry didn't bother listening but found himself studying the other boy as he spoke. Mathieu's curly brown hair was looking strangely familiar as it bounced every time he moved his head.

"I don't see why we even have them. Any thing a house elf can do, a wizard can do," Matt explained passionately. "It's utterly horrible on our part—"

The words he spoke went in through one ear and out the other. So Harry only nodded to show he was listening.

Apart from the two, Ron was practicing the spell in a tiny mirror placed in front of him self. Every word of the enchantment he said, he pronounced wrong much to the annoyance of Professor McGonagall. She found her self standing at his side for the majority of the class while on his other side Lavender performed the spell nearly flawlessly. She was able to turn her face into its masculine self but still had to work on her body but no one else in the class had reached as far as her.

Ron felt a certain aggravation towards her as she decided to help Neville pronounce the spell instead of him. Ron was stuck with McGonagall, Instead, breathing down his neck. He was relieved of his slight frustration as he looked over to the other Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs as they worked on the spell. The whole class looked androgynous in some form or another but he nearly gagged when he saw Hannah. Her nose and her jaw were changed to be more masculine. The whole idea of her being a guy disturbed him.

He continued to study her, and she at some point having felt his gaze, turned to look at him. He smiled at her but she only stared. In her eyes she looked as though she was trying to relay a message to him but he couldn't read it.

"Mr. Weasley, please," McGonagall's voice called, "Pay attention."

* * *

After class Ron walked out with Lavender without Harry. He apparently ran off to the library or somewhere with Mathieu. Ron expected Lavender to be seething, especially after this morning, but she didn't say anything at all. Instead, she made a beeline straight to the Great Hall for lunch.

He was just about to follow her into the Hall but was blacked by a familiar red head. Hannah had her arm out and Ron blindly collided with it. Lavender on instant turned around at the noise the two made.

"Oh," was all she said then turned away and walked off towards Gryffindor's table.

"Hey, Hannah, What's up?" He asked smiling.

"Nothing—" She said.

"That's great!" Ron said. "I was thinking for our next date, we could do something more ro—"

"—I don't think we should see each other again!" She cried.

"—mantic," Ron finished. "What! Why not?"

Hannah flinched and stared at him painfully and her eyes pleaded with him to understand. "Ron... I—um—I am not that kind of girl."

"What kind of girl?" Ron asked flabbergasted. "I thought we hit it off."

"Ron please don't make this any harder than it already is," She pleaded. "I'm not one of those girls you can have your way with then dump and I don't ever intend on ever being one. So I'm breaking it off before I get in too deep."

She looked at him sadly and Ron could have sworn a tear slipped from her eye.

"So, this is goodbye," She leaned over and kissed his cheek then walked off to her table.

Ron only stared after her, stunned. Sure he liked her and was excited for their next date but it wasn't as though he loved her. They had one date that hardly counted for a relationship. Heck, he had intimate relationships with women without even having gone a date with them. He could easily get over her, Ron was positive of that, but if that was true, why then did his heart feel as though she had walked off with it?

* * *

Hermione and Evie walked off to the library after transfiguration. She couldn't help but feel excited and confused. After becoming better friends with the other girl she couldn't help but find herself growing excited at any chance to learn more about her. After last night she discovered Evie to be a wonderful listener. During class today Evie 'really' listened to her as she ranted about house elf rights.

For once, Hermione found her self wrong about something. Evie was not the girl she expected her to be. She had assumed the girl to be much like Parvati and Lavender, thinking boys and nothing else, but instead she discovered her to be quite the opposite. Evie was nice and sincere and seemed to actually never flirt with anyone. It was kind of a sweet relief from Ginny, who sadly enough was also boy-crazy.

She and Evie found a quiet table at the back of the library and sat down next to each other. Hermione pulled out her books and began to start on the essay that McGonagall assigned for her and Evie specifically.

"W-what are you doing tonight?" Evie asked randomly. Her voice stuttered nervously.

Hermione's head looked up and she sent Evie a strong look. "Nothing, Why?" She asked.

"Well," Evie said quietly. As Hermione watched her she noticed her trying to avoid her eyes.

"Well, I was just wondering," Evie continued quietly, "If you wanted to go to Hogsmeade and buy stuff for Karen."

"Oh, ok, I guess," Hermione agreed slowly. "We should probably dress her up. Maybe Hagrid will like that."

"Yeah," Harry agreed but then slowly the reality of what he asked hit him. He had just asked another boy out—on a date!

* * *

Ron abandoned Lavender after lunch just to walk alone to his next class, potions. As much as he hated that class he, at the moment, would rather be with the sulky, greasy, angry potion's teacher than with a bubble teenage girl. He still hadn't seen Harry since lunch and had given up all hope of seeing him there but now he thought that was for the best. As close as they were Ron wasn't completely comfortable spilling his problems out like Harry was.

As he walked through hallways and down staircases his ears failed to pick up the silent footsteps of a person who had followed him out of the Great hall. He continued on with his thoughts confused and baffled by his dark mood. He had at first thought he felt nothing over Hannah but now she was gone and he was sad.

Poor innocent, little Hannah, she was so sweet. She was probably the type of Girlfriend who would make lunch for her boyfriend just because she wanted to and kissed her husband goodbye everyday before he left for work. She'd stay home and watch the children while her husband earned a living not because she had to but because she wanted to. She was a sweet girl who would do nothing but care for her man and all Ron would give her in return is heartache not because he wanted to but because his reputation called for it.

It's probably better this way.

* * *

_Next: The 'Date.'_

Aww, emo Ron!


	13. Before the 'nondatelike' date

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Thirteen:**

**Before the 'non-date-like' date**

Parvati smiled with satisfaction as she saw Ron Weasley, the champion of bedding women, who usually walked with an arrogant strut that usually screamed 'I'm a confident man whore' now walk as though he just had his red carpet ripped from his feet. She knew everything had gone according to plan when she saw Hannah pull him off for a private conversation before lunch today.

Of course she did feel some sympathy for Hannah but not a lot. In fact, she felt she did Hannah a favor, a favor by saving her from a relationship with Ronald Weasley.

"Oh Hannah," She mumbled to herself when she saw the red headed girl mope towards her in the hall. "You did the right thing."

"Then why do I feel like crap?" She asked softly. "He looked like he was going to cry."

"He'd like you to think that wouldn't he?" Parvati said stiffly. "You've just saved yourself from a lot of heartache and pain. If you kept with him, he would've only slept with you then leave you."

Hannah shook her head before quietly walking off.

"You should thank me," Parvati cried after her, "He'll only break your heart, like he broke my sister's heart," then more quietly, "Like he broke my heart."

* * *

"So it's a date?" Lavender asked for the umpteenth time that evening in the girl's dorms (don't ask how Ron got up there…he has his ways.). Both Harry and Ron were sprawled out on separate beds moaning in annoyance. After their classes Harry confessed to his friends of his of what he had done. He asked Mathieu Mondego out—'but it was only to go shopping' he confessed to himself hoping the more he thought it the more he would believe it.

"No," he answered back. The anger had long left him leaving him tired and irritated with Lavender asking that question.

"But you guys are going to sneak in to Hogsmeade to buy cloths when you could just as easily transfigure some," Lavender snapped.

"YEAH! WELL—I didn't think of that," Harry snapped suddenly irritated. "GET OFF MY BACK, WOMAN! I CAN'T THINK UNDER PRESSURE!"

"Cool it, Potter," Ron said. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. Guys disguised as girls ask other guys out all the time."

"Well, that's good," Harry quipped sarcastically. "This won't be awkward at all."

"Right," Ron agreed. "Now onto business—" He pointed his finger at Lavender in exaggeration of his point. "You take him—" He now pointed at Harry, "—to the bathroom and make him look beautiful for his date tonight—"

"Its not a date!"

"Of course not," Lavender mocked bitterly. "C'mon."

She grabbed Harry's hand and rushed him to the bathroom. Where she painted on a light layer of make up on his face and attempted to curl his hair (but Harry swatted her hand away before she could make him too girly). Lavender then chose capri shorts and a white tank top to wear beneath his cloak.

Harry could tell Lavender didn't mean to but she was letting her jealous side seep through as she handled him roughly: combing his hair like she wanted to rip it out, applying eyeliner shakily like it was taking all her will to not poke his eye out, and tying his top tight enough to choke him. She didn't really mean to cause harm (after all, there is nothing better than being manhandled then your best female friend, right?)

"Enjoy your shopping spree!" Lavender snapped with an uncontrolled edginess in her voice.

"Lavender, I'm sorry," Harry apologized to the grieving (authentic) female. "I know you like him, I won't get in your way if you want a relationship with him. I promise," He paused at his awkward apology and found that it was quite hard to say.

In fact, Harry found he wasn't sorry at all for Lavender. Mathieu was as much as his friend as he was to her, in fact he was closer to Matt than anyone else. Harry felt he deserved an equal shot at the French guy but was a little confused at what that meant (A shot at what, exactly?).

" 'Cuz, you know," Harry continued on awkwardly, "I'm not gay and all, we're just friends."

Lavender just stared at Harry in the eyes in that cliché way she did when she wanted to make sure that he (or Ron) was telling the truth, which offended Harry quite a bit.

"YOU THINK I'M GAY?" He cried.

Lavender jumped and stepped back from Harry.

"Oh, Harry, no of course not," She hurriedly went to assure him. "I'm sorry, too. You're my best friend and I know you wouldn't make a move on Mathieu, you're both guys after all."

Harry coughed awkwardly, "Yeah."

"I mean, after all," She continued confidently, "I'm pretty sure he likes me. We had that moment out in the common room."

"Right?"

Lavender nodded, "Have fun shopping," This time she spoke sincerely before the hugged Harry and ran out of the dorms.

* * *

Hermione frolicked through her trunk, safely placed at the end of her new bed. She was locked in a desperate search for any article of clothing that would fit her new male body. She had just realized that her only fitting clothes were her pajamas and school uniform, all conveniently brought to her by Professor McGonnagal..

"What are you looking for?" Ginny asked from her spot on Ron's bed. She wasn't watching Hermione but staring rather despondently at the ceiling.

"Clothes, anything to transform into boy clothes," Hermione sighed, "All of mine are conveniently being washed." She closed her trunk with a frustrated sigh, "and I don't want to wear my uniform."

"Borrow something from Ron," Ginny supplied still quite deadpanned, "He's taller but he's least likely to notice that his clothes are gone or being worn by someone else. He's quite dumb in that way."

'Or use to it,' Hermione wanted to say but kept quiet.

Hermione gave Ginny a worried look at her dead personality but did as her friend suggested. She crawled to Ron's trunk which was at the foot of the bed next over, and began to shuffle through it. She found a pair of jeans that she thought would fit but as soon as she pulled them out, tiny brown rocks fell at her feet.

"What is this?" She knelt down and picked up a tiny rock and held it up for Ginny to see.

Her redheaded friend looked her way then squinted as if not believing what she was seeing. As if confirming what her suspicions were she gave gross expression before bursting out into laughter.

Hermione who was quite happy to see her friend smile and laugh grew a little worried at what she was holding.

"Hermione, put that down," Ginny laughed, "It's rat feces from Scabbers when Ron stuffed him in his trunk. Too bad the little guy was eaten by a hawk when we went camping last summer."

"Ewww, gross," Hermione cried and through the pants aside and stared at her hands in horror. "He let his rat defecate on his clothes…what is wrong with him?"

Ginny shrugged, "I've been asking myself that for years."

_Next: The Date_

* * *

Parvati shows her evil side…I wonder if Ron even remembers going out with her (…or maybe it was 'Padme'?) Oh well, hopefully Hermione can find clean clothes…and will Harry get over his temper? I guess we'll find out soon.


	14. The ‘nondatelike’ date

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

I was listening to 'Meet Me on Diagon Alley' by the wizard rock band, Ministry of Magic. So I'll just credit them with inspiration for this chapter (even though its about Harry and Ginny…Yuck!)

Anyway, thank you all for staying with me and for that I have a special treat, see bottom of the page for details…

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Fourteen:**

**The 'non-date-like' date**

Harry waited by the portrait of the fat lady holding 'Karen the egg' and felt self-conscious at all the eyes staring at him. He pulled his cloak tighter upon himself, wishing to Merlin that it was invisibility cloak and rubbed his stomach. If it wasn't the embarrassment of knowingly asking another guy out on an 'assumed' date than it was his stomach tying up in knots that threatened to kill him.

"God, just take me now before I can make a bigger fool of myself," Harry mumbled.

"Did you hear? The 'new girl' is going on a date with the 'hot guy'," Harry heard a first year squeal from her seat on the couch.

"Who's the 'hot guy'?" Her friend asked.

"The hottest guy in the school, duhh," The first girl cried. "He's like super hot!"

"But who is he?"

"Like I know his name," The first girl said. "All I know is that they're baby clothes shopping. She must've gotten knocked up."

"Oh my gosh, really?" The second girl gasped.

Harry blushed and buried his face into 'Karen the egg'.

"Hey, Evie," A deep voice from behind said.

Harry jumped and turned around to see the familiar mop of brown curly hair behind him. The other boy, Harry noticed wore large clothes that were too big for him. 'He must have hand-me downs,' Harry thought thinking of Dudley's old clothes that he kept at the bottom of his trunk.

"Hey, Matt," he greeted. "You ready to go?"

Matt nodded. "I'll take her," He gestured to 'Karen the egg', "She's kind of heavy so…"

Harry shrugged. 'Karen the egg's weight didn't bother him from his practice on the quidditch team but he didn't feel like carrying her either. 'That's the one good thing about being a girl,' he thought, 'Guys like to carry stuff for you.'

* * *

Together they left the Gryffindor tower and headed off towards a secret passage way that led to Honeydukes.

"Wow," Hermione said, "How do you know about this secret passage when you've only just came here?"

She noticed Evie paled but tried to cover it up with a nervous laugh. "Ron told me," was all she said.

Hermione felt her dislike for Ron grow. How did he and Evie become such good friends? "You two sure are close," She commented lightly, but deep inside her dislike bubbled.

"Oh, sure, he's a good friend," Evie said but when Hermione caught her eye she knew Evie saw her slight anger. "But I would never date him…ewww, y'know?"

* * *

Harry turned away from Mathieu and blushed. 'Why the heck did I just say that?' He thought, 'Its not like I want to date Matt, either, he is a guy, too. But he did look upset, and kind of cute. UH OH! Bad thoughts! bad thoughts,' Harry screamed internally.

"Are you ok?" Matt asked. He rested his hand on Harry's shoulder. "You're kind of freaking out there."

"I'm fine, really, Let's just shop," Harry said. He rubbed his stomach and knew it was only acting up because he was nervous.

They entered several stores and bought 'Karen the egg' a red skirt (on behalf of the Gryffindor house) and a gold (yellow, but don't tell Harry that) jacket. Matt had laughed at his house pride and jokingly reminded him that he wasn't really a Gryffindor.

'Wouldn't you like to know,' Harry thought into response as he watched the French man window browse as they passed by. Matt didn't seem to notice that Harry had his eyes trained on him, because if he did Harry reckoned he would blush and fidget. Harry noticed he did that a lot.

'What could have that boy so enthralled?' Harry wondered and realized that they were standing before the window of the local bookstore. 'Ahh, titty mags, perhaps?'

But no, Harry should've know that Matt was classier than that. The boy was staring at the Merlin Encyclopedia Vol. I. 31st Edition.

"Oh, sorry for spacing out," Matt said when he noticed Harry was standing beside him. He held the newly clothed 'Karen the egg' (nicknamed now as KTE) in his arm as he tightened his cloak around them. Neither of the two had realized how chilly it was in the fall weather and were greatly relieved that their awkwardness in their gender-warped bodies had overridden their desires to look attractive.

"No problem," Harry waved it off, "I can tell you like to read, but honestly the encyclopedia?"

"What's wrong with that?" Matt asked, "Its informative and half the book is written in Goblin. How cool is that?"

Harry shrugged, "Yeah I guess, but would goblins actually want to buy that? After all it was made by wizards."

Matt smiled and shrugged. "I suppose you're right, but it would be nice to speak more than one language," he said.

Harry sent Matt a confused look and mulled over the words in his head. "But you already do. French and English, right? I mean, after all, you're from France?"

* * *

'Oh crap,' Hermione squealed internally. She squashed the anger aimed towards herself for being stupid. She had to come up with a quick and an intelligent answer that will explain and take any suspicion off of her. "Yeah, I do," She answered. There that took care of that.

Evie cocked her head to the side but shrugged it off. "Well, okay…but are you going to buy it?" She asked turning back to the store window.

The shop owner was glaring at them as if he suspected they were about to break the window and snatch some 'very valuable' books bought in mass quantity right out of the window. To prevent this from happening he had not so subtly ordered the stock boy to keep an eye on them under the guise of cleaning the window.

"Buy what? The book?" Hermione looked back at the book and saw the price tag was 20 galleons. "I don't think so," She decided, "it's a little bit out of my price range. I only have five galleons and 11 sickles left on me."

Evie smiled casually. "Its okay, I'll pay for it," She suggested, "I have plenty of money on me right now."

"No," Hermione said and grabbed Evie's hand before she could reach for her money, "Don't bother, I'll just come back for it later," Hermione said. It didn't sit well that Evie had offered to buy her something as expensive as that book. She was suppose to be the boy…on this 'suppose' date and letting Evie pay would be ungentlemanly.

"Are you sure? Because I don't mind," Evie encouraged.

"Its fine," Hermione still held Evie's hand in heres and began to drag off towards the center of town. She felt her face blushed and thanked God that she was walking in front of Evie so she wouldn't see her blush. "Its getting dark, anyway. I think we should head back."

"Mmm," Evie said in a distracted voice. Hermione glanced at the other girl to see she had a blush on her face as well, "I mean, yeah, but we missed dinner."

"Oh-" Hermione realized.

"So let's get dinner out here," Evie suggested.

Hermione nodded silently, but fully aware of the twilight turning into night. 'We'll be able to see the stars,' She dimly thought.

"Okay, c'mon," She said. They were still holding hands and the wind had idly blown on her cloak. She could see Evie's choppy black hair swaying in the breath. "At the Three Broomsticks?"

The two (and 'KTE) made it down the street to find the pub dimly populated. Hermione relaxed knowing they wouldn't be to bothered by other customers and was, for once, grateful that they broke the rules and snuck out instead of waiting for a Hogsmeade weekend.

They found a tiny, darkened corner and settled into it. The warmth from the pub made the necessity of their cloaks null so they both pulled them off and huddled into each other for warmth. Soon Madam Rosmerta appeared and they ordered two butterbeers. Hermione nearly laughed at how ridiculous she must've looked when after her first sip of the warm liquid, the foam from the drink rubbed onto her nose. She was about to wipe it off when she caught sight of the hungry gleam in Evie's eyes.

"Wha-" she started to say but was abruptly cut off when Evie leaned foreword and licked the foam right off her nose.

* * *

Seamus walked nervously up the boy's staircase to the dorm rooms with deliberate steps. He was determined to ignore whatever attraction he had growing for Mathieu Mondego, but was almost afraid to see the other boy for whatever unwanted response his body might give off.

"I can't let Seamus Jr. do 'that' again in front of the other boy," He admonished to himself.

After realizing his sudden attraction to the French student, Seamus had taken off to the privacy of the broom closet on the third floor to have a nice long moment of self-realization. He loved to think in the broom closet because it was quiet and dark, therefore blinding him from any distractions. And here was where he realized the change in himself.

He had always been a slave for his girlfriends; buying them gifts, smothering them with compliments, and being all around nice gets tiring after the first few days, but there was something different about Mathieu. First and forefront, he was a guy, and a smart one at that. That was when Seamus realized that he had never been in a relationship with a smart person before and that was a change he fully wished to explore (and the guy part too). But to explore it, he must first find said boy.

"Hey, Dean, where's Mathieu?" He asked his dark skinned friend. He was reading a muggle book on football while he laid on his stomach in his bed.

"On a date," Dean said callously.

"WHAT?"

* * *

_Next: Growing pains_

A/N: Check out my profile page for a link to a drawing I did of this chapter! If the link doesn't work, just check out my deviantart profile.


	15. Sick Edit

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Fifteen:**

**Sick**

'_Dear Diary, # 3_

_ The date (even thought it was only clothes shopping)! I went into this not knowing what to expect. I think its common knowledge that we all subconsciously fall into classic rules of the quidditch jock and the cheerleader or whatever you want to call it. I kept wanting to take the lead and pay for everything (good thing I didn't or I would be broke (Matt's an expensive date) and be the big 'manly' protector._

_ If being friends with Lavender is worth anything, then I should know that (in her opinion) men are fast to put the moves on a girl but with Matt…'_

Harry dropped the quill he had been holding off the side of the bed and stared blankly down at his half written entry. He felt a little lame and awful for writing about his experience with Matt in a diary entry that would soon be read by the rest of the school as soon as he took his disguise off.

Lavender and Ron had decided that he should express his feelings and reaction to anything shock worthy but all he felt and experience he believed would only be valued by him. 'What would the rest of the school learn from this?' Harry thought as shoved his journal away from, 'except for the fact that I have a penchant for cross dressing.'

As loath as he was willing to admit, Harry, shamefully, did find the breeze under his skirt quite nice.

But what had really stopped Harry from finishing his entry was the thought of Matt. The 'date' or whatever it was suppose to be had been nice, very nice indeed. He felt relaxed and safe being around someone who knew so much more than he did, and yet managed to seem so normal and cool at the same time. He felt he finally understood the feelings of a girl when she was in the arms of the man she loved.

'Not that I'm in love,' he thought uselessly, but he knew whatever he felt it was strong. He thought back to when he had licked Matt's nose. It was soft and tasted of butterbeer but that was to be expected and the way that Matt blushed and stumbled for words before giving up completely and settled on just drinking made Harry feel fuzzy inside.

But all the same he knew he shouldn't get too close to Matt, because Matt was a boy and probably straight at that. Harry frowned at that realization. To think his first romance would be a gay romance. He blushed and realized that at every turn he would have to tackle his feelings and lock them away. In a few weeks this would all be over and he could go back to normal. Maybe with this newfound knowledge of having walked in women's shoes he could get a steady relationship with a nice girl.

'Yeah,' Harry thought, 'that sounds nice.'

"SO!" He heard a voice jerk him from his thoughts. Harry turned his attention to see Lavender standing in the doorway. "So," She repeated, "Back from shopping, Oh I don't know, after nightfall! All the shops were closed at least two hours ago."

"Yeah…" Harry said. He had forgotten about Lavender.

"And?" She prompted. "What did you do then? No kissing or anything, right?"

"Right," Harry said, ('does licking qualify as kissing?'), "No kissing. We just walked around…and stuff."

"Good," Lavender said sternly before she broke into a smile, "So what did you buy?"

At her sudden mood swing Harry gave a loud gulp and rubbed his aching stomach, nervously.

* * *

Hermione had barely settled into her bed before she became aware of the intense gaze she was receiving from Seamus. She was still a little uncomfortable about sharing a dorm room with boys but that was still no where near the awkwardness of sharing a bathroom with boys (and all the mechanics that follow with it) but that was another story Never mind that fact that Seamus would stare at her intensely in the bathroom also.

She had long since come to the conclusion that Seamus was a voyeur, but she still couldn't get use to his staring.

"What are you looking at?" she asked as she adjusted her pajama shirt collar and crawled under the blankets of her bed.

"Where were you tonight?" he asked.

"Out, why?" Hermione asked, "Did you need me for something?"

Seamus blushed and mumbled, "Yeah you could say that."

Hermione was barely able to understand his words but sent him a worried look. She noticed he was slightly pale and his cheeks were flushed. He also, she noted, looked exhausted and sweaty.

"Are you ok, you're very pale?" She said. She kicked her blankets off and made her way towards him. Up-close she could see how red his face was. She gently placed her hand on his forehead and face went even redder. "You're not burning up…" she mumbled.

She noticed that Seamus squirmed beneath her hand and she couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was very wrong. "I'm…fine," His voice squeaked.

"No, you're not, you're very pale," She said, "I'm taking you to the hospital wing. No buts."

She grabbed Seamus's elbow and began to pull him from the bed. Seamus was pliable as he let himself be lead around by Hermione. She gently pulled him out of the Gryffindor tower, careful to go at a comfortable pace.

* * *

Harry groaned as pain he had never felt before struck him in a frenzy. He felt like his stomach was trying to eat itself in vane. "Oh Merlin, why is this happening to me?" He asked pointlessly.

"Is something wrong with you," Lavender asked. She had stopped her barrage of questions after she seemed satisfied that nothing had happened between Harry and Mathieu and began to paint her toenails. Harry noted that she had stolen the bottle from Parvati.

"I-Merlin! My stomach is going crazy!" He cried out.

Lavender looked thoughtful, "Do you have diarrhea?"

"NO!" Harry moaned irritably. "Just don't speak, its painful to listen too."

Lavender huffed angrily and quickly screwed the cap back on the nail polish, "I was just trying to help, but since you're so high and mighty, deal with it yourself."

She angrily walked out of the dorm and slammed the door shut.

"Women," Harry sighed and let out deep moaned. He massaged his stomach gently and lightly sagged in relief when the pain lessened slightly. "Maybe I should go see Madame Pomfrey?"

He rolled out of bed and began his trek towards the hospital wing. As he walked down the empty hallways he almost doubled over in pain and that's when he saw it.

Blood.

* * *

Hermione helped Seamus onto a bed and pulled up a chair beside him. Madame Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen but she wasn't worried. The old woman may be crabby but she was skilled and could heal anything in a jiffy.

"Mathieu?" She heard the Irish boy ask weakly.

She glanced at him with soft eyes. She always pitied the weak. "Yeah?"

"I…" He quieted and his face got redder.

"I swear, you must have a fever, but you're not hot at all," Hermione cried. She placed her hand back on his forehead to see if it had grown hot but once again it hadn't.

Seamus then leaned into her touch. "I need to tell you something," He whispered.

"What is it, Seamus?" She asked.

"I think I like you…" He mumbled, "a lot."

Hermione pulled her hand away and stared at the boy. How could he like her? They were both boys at the moment, and he didn't even know that she was once a girl. She had to be misunderstanding him. "What do you mean?"

Seamus went so red in the face and that's when she realized what was going on. He wasn't sick at all, was he?

"I mean…I like you more than a friend," he said. He was staring at his hands before he took a deep breath and looked up to meet her eyes. "and maybe-I thought-we could, I don't know…go out sometime?"

"Oh, Seamus, I don't know what to say," Hermione said quietly. She new she had a growing attraction to Evie, but Evie was a girl and Seamus was a boy, a boy who thought he was going gay but a boy nonetheless. "I-"

"AHHH!" Someone screamed behind Hermione. "I'M BLEEDING!"

Hermione jumped and glanced behind her to see a short, black haired female come screaming into the wing.

* * *

Seamus groaned in annoyance and at the girl's bad timing. He glared at the girl even though she seemed not to be aware of their presence. She was pale and panicking about blood, which at that moment he noticed was rolling down her legs.

"Evie!" Mathieu cried. He promptly turned away from Seamus which made him sad and turned to the girl who literally crumbled into his arms.

* * *

Hermione felt her body freeze up when she saw the blood on the girl's leg. Evie was hanging off his arm and looking like she was about to pass out.

"What happened?" Hermione asked as she hugged the girl. "You were fine a few hours ago."

"I don't know, it's my stomach and now the blood," Evie cried. "It came on so suddenly, I don't know what's wrong."

'Stomach? Blood? Could it be…' Hermione pulled away from the other girl and stared at her from arms length. "Evie, are you…?" Hermione blushed. "Are you on your period?"

Evie's face went blank. "My period?"

"Is this your first time?" Hermione asked completely shocked that a 17 year old girl had not hit puberty yet. 'Well, no wonder she acts like a flat chested 12 year old boy.'

Evie laughed nervously. "No, of course it's not. I have had my period plenty of times, I just didn't…think it was that…this time." She finished lamely.

Hermione could tell the girl was lying and felt bad for even asking. 'Of course you shouldn't ask, you sick perve!' She screamed internally at herself. She stopped her thoughts when she heard a chuckled from behind.

Hermione let go of Evie and turned to Seamus who was staring darkly at Evie but managed to have a slight smirk on his face all the same. She had completely forgotten that Seamus was in the room, and he had heard the embarrassing conversation they had just had. 'Poor Evie, now I feel really bad.'

"Hey, Seamus," Evie mumbled and disentangled herself from Hermione. She stepped awkwardly aside and Hermione felt cold all of a sudden.

"Evie," He mumbled.

Hermione could feel the awkwardness and tension rise in the air. Seamus had admitted his feelings to her and Evie who Hermione thought she was in a relationship of some form were both in the room. Granted that Evie didn't know about Seamus, but still the awkwardness was undeniable.

"What are you doing here?" Evie asked. She moved around Hermione to go stand next to Seamus.

He looked over at Hermione who blushed still remembering what he told her.

"Look," She grabbed Evie's hand and pulled her towards the exit. She didn't like the two of them together. "Since no one is sick why don't we go head back to the common room?"

"NOT SICK!" Evie screamed irrationally. She pulled her hand away from Hermione and glared at her. Hermione was stunned by the girl's scream. "I'M BLEEDING FROM MY VAG-FROM MY …FROM DOWN THERE! NOT SICK HE SAYS." Evie walked away and slumped onto a bed. "I never knew you were sexist. Of course you've never had a period. You don't know what pain I've gone through you insensitive jerk. MEN!"

Hermione blushed at the irony just spoken and was maybe just a bit angry. She's suffered her periods in stoic silence. How dare this 'child' yell at her for sexism…but then paled when she saw the anger in the girl's eyes. She also didn't want Evie mad at her

* * *

Harry slumped on the bed and let out a heavy breath. He didn't know where that rant came from but he felt his blood boil and a passion was awoken in him, but now he felt exhausted. He glanced at Matt who was staring at him with shock and hurt.

"I…I'm sorry," He choked out, very pale. "I…I'll go." He then quickly turned and ran from the room.

Harry sat there and stared at where Matt previously stood. "Oh shit, what did I just do? Why did I say that?" 'What is wrong with me?' He thought sadly.

He heard footsteps and looked over at Seamus who was leaving the hospital wing.

"Where are you going? I thought you were sick…"

Seamus didn't respond because he had already left the room and Evie found herself very alone in the hospital wing. The very white hospital wing.

* * *

This was probably my favorite chapter. Harry's been turned into raving feminist after he recieves his first period...but honestly can't do a gender bender without the puberty escapade.

Thank you all for reviewing, but lets try to break 90 reviews this time!


	16. Just a Little Crush Edit

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

A/N: Yeah, disappointed in me, I know. I'm pretty un reliable with updates, but this chapter has a bit of drama or whatever in it. So have fun with this.

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Just a little Crush**

Ron shuffled through the hallways. He was half hoping to find Harry, his best friend who now looked like a totally hot chick. Ron was an interesting fellow, there was no doubt about it. Ginny often told him when he had a cold; his cure was his stash of 'Playwizard' hidden under his bed. He didn't mind that he found himself attracted to Harry or "Evie" now, hell, who wasn't? But it seemed Harry was more interested in "Mathieu", the French jerk-off who's steeling all the woman.

"I never knew Harry swung that way…" He mumbled. He shook his head. He didn't want to think about this best friend's sexuality. He didn't want to do much of anything.

Ron slowed his walk when he came across the library. He looked both ways before creeping towards the door and opening it just a peek. There she was, Hannah. She was searching through a large, probably old textbook; and every once in a while, she would brush her bangs aside. He desperately wanted to brush her hair for her but he knew if he were to touch her she would probably smack him away and call him a pervert, which he was but he still didn't want her to call him that.

"What are you doing?" A voice asked.

Ron jumped and the door slammed shut. He turned to glare at the girl standing next to him. "What do you want, Parvati?"

* * *

Hermione sat on her bed with her curtains drawn. Her eyes were crusty with dry tears. Seamus had chased after her and tried to talk to her throughout the entire night (didn't that guy ever sleep?) but Hermione had charmed her bed curtains shut and refused to come out for anything. She even missed breakfast but class was starting soon so she was ready to make an exception.

'Maybe I'll see her there…' She wondered thinking back to the dark haired female. She blushed at her thoughts and at how pathetic she was behaving.

She pulled the curtains aside and adjusted her uniform, which was wrinkly from the night and ran a hand between the knots in her hair. When she couldn't run it entirely through, she shrugged and decided she didn't care.

When she descended the boy's staircase, she was surprised to see Ginny waiting for her.

"There you are!" She cried excitedly. "What happened? You look like crap."

Hermione shrugged, "Rough night…"

Ginny's mouth went wide. "Rough…? Did something happen?"

Hermione vigorously shook her head, "No, Ginny, I'm not gay."

"Oh," Ginny shrugged.

"I'm not!" Hermione cried indignantly. Really, some people. She was honestly surprised by Ginny's assumption. Ginny knew she was a girl and just playing a role.

"Ok, just whatever, now what happened last night?" Ginny asked.

Hermione sighed and thought back for the first time that day of Seamus. What a bomb that was. Seamus was gay…for her? As confusing as it sounded (and it was because not even Hermione could make sense of it), she was at a loss for words.

"I…nothing, just forget about it, I have to get to class," She said and pushed passed Ginny. She held her books tighter to her recently flat male chest and headed off to her first class of the day.

* * *

Parvarti smiled at Ron. "Nothing, just wanted to see what was up."

Ron stared at her suspiciously.

"What, I can't worry about you?" She asked. Her voice was a little venomous and reminded Ron much of a snake or better yet, a dirty Slytherin.

"…No, I don't think so," He said. "Not since you punched me after we broke up."

Parvati glared and moved closer to Ron. "I was angry, who wouldn't be?"

'That's it,' Parvati thought bitterly, 'that little crapper cheats on me with Cho Chang and he's mad at me?'

Not many knew this, but Ron and Parvati had dated for nearly a two months, Ron's longest relationship by far (and not something he likes to think admit) but he had insisted on keeping it secret. Parvati had agreed thinking it was romantic, to meet in the classrooms alone, keeping their passions secret. She had lost her virginity to him. She even thought she could love him. Maybe she already did

She shook her head and thought back to the plan at hand. She glanced at Hannah who was closing the book she was reading.

"Cute, Ron Weasley is all choked up over some girl," She said. She saw Ron stiffen out of the corner of her eye. "Funny, I thought you were incapable of public displays of partnership or heartbreak."

"Shut up, you hag," Ron hissed. "You're obsessed with me."

"You broke my heart because we were getting too close," Parvati cried. "I felt something, and I know you felt it too. We were happy!"

"Shut up."

"No, Ron, I…care about you, still, after everything you've done. My sister, Hannah, hell, every other girl in the school, but I still love you."

"SHUT UP!" Ron got pale and his freckles stood out more. He looked scared and sweaty but Parvati still loved him. He backed against the wall and Parvati stepped closer. She leaned in and kissed him.

He stood still, very still. She ran a hand through his red hair and the other rested on his cheek. She broke it and stared into his eyes but those crystal beauties were focused on something behind her, no someone.

Parvati turned and saw Hannah standing there. Her red hair made her face look pale as well. Her gaze shifted to Parvati and she saw a flash of betrayal before they returned to Ron.

"Oh God," Ron moaned. Hannah turned on her heal and ran away.

Ron went limp between Parvatia and the wall, and she let him go. She watched him slide down to his butt and just sit there gazing off down the hall Hannah ran down. She stared at him for a minute longer before wordlessly walking away.

Class was starting soon.

* * *

Hermione sat down in the transfiguration classroom and dumped her books on the floor. She pulled out her wand and fiddled with it as students began to shuffle in. She watched shoes walk about afraid to raise her eyes to their faces. 'Evie could be one of them' she thought idly and sadly.

Her semi-normal mood was crushed at the thought of the skinny girl mad at her. "Uhg, what did I do?" She mumbled and rubbed her face in her hands. She heard the distinctly female giggle, the familiar giggle, Evie's giggle.

Hermione looked up then blushed.

'I'm losing it.'

It wasn't Evie's giggle, it was Lavender's who was laughing at pale and dazed Evie. Evie glanced at her before quickly turning away and sitting by the window. Hermione stared at the girl and wondered briefly how she was coming along with her period; it was obviously her first time. Hermione wished things could have gone differently, maybe she could have given her tips on her period, and maybe Evie wouldn't look so exhausted.

"Hey, pay attention," a voice hissed at Hermione. She turned her head and saw Neville sitting behind her. He gave a look before turning away. Hermione only had time for a brief thought on how Neville grew some balls, before turning back to the lesson.

* * *

Harry saw the other boy in the window's reflection staring at him. He could feel it too. He ran a hand through his hair and realized it had grown a bit long. Not too long but just around his chin. He was tempted to go get it cut, but Lavender would probably castrate him if she saw him with even shorter hair.

Harry turned his head to Lavender and saw her glance at Matt a few times. He almost wished that she and he were in each other's places. 'Lavender would have no problems with him, she is a real girl after all,' Harry thought. He turned back to the window and gazed at Matt's reflection as he began to take some intense notes. Harry was almost reminded of the bushy haired girl that Ron was always fighting with and was in their house. She was always taking notes.

'It's probably better this way,' Harry thought sadly, 'maybe this whole mess can just end quietly. It was getting a little too real anyways. 'I just need to do some shallow dating for the journals and that's it, nothing intense….yeah this is better.'

* * *

Hermione ran to the boy's bathroom and locked herself up in a stall. This was getting ridiculous. 'Stop thinking about her!' She screamed internally, 'you're not gay, you're not a lesbian…you're not, you're not attracted to Evie!' But truthfully, Hermione wanted nothing more than to hold the skinny girl in her arms.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no" She moaned and crashed her face into her knees. "This can't be happening….I have a boyfriend." She thought idly on Terry. "I'm not even attracted to girls, I never have been…"

"MATT, is that you?" The bathroom stall opened and Hermione groaned as she stared into the smiling face Seamus. ."You're not attracted to girls?"

She had spoken aloud, hadn't she…and the one person she didn't need at the moment had heard her

Hermione sighed and glared at Seamus and vaguely wondered how much he heard, "Go away, I'm having an intense thought conversation."

"You do all your deep thinking on the toilet?" Seamus joked.

"Just go away," Hermione sighed and shoved the other boy out of the way before leaving the bathroom. 'I cannot deal with this,' she thought stressfully. She was about to turn the corner but she heard the familiar voice of Evie around the other side.

The girl was wearing a heavy winter jacket over the school cloak looking a bit constipated and was staring out the window next to Lavender Brown. Hermione's eyes quickly bypassed the other girl and rested on Evie. Hermione didn't know why, because the girl's body was completely covered and she was shoving an ushanka over her hair, but she looked familiar. She looked like Evie, of course, but someone else as well.

Hermione sighed and rubbed her hand through her short curly hair. She leaned against the wall and let her eyes fall away from the dark haired girl and stared straight ahead, "Sorry, Mum, no grandkids…I like Evie…"

Hermione tried to think about the times before Evie, trying to convince herself that she was attracted to men, but all she could come up with was Evie. She never had a crush unless you counted Ron Weasley in first year (Hermione didn't) and even Terry left her short on the short side of satisfied. She felt her eyes water at the revelation.

"How will I tell Ginny?"

* * *

_Next: Someone is having doubts_

Yeah, it was short. I'm kind of thinking of turning the whole ordeal with Parvati/Ron/Hannah into the anime 'School days'. Watch it and laugh (or cry, my friend did)


	17. Lonely Hearts I

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

**A/N:** Still focused on Hermione, I know, I'm sorry. I'll try and give Harry some attention if I can.

HEY! LONG TIME NO READ! Finally and update (sorry for the long wait !), anyway, its late so this chapter might be a bit weird, possibly boring. I'm done with the edits for now, so I'm gonna continue with the actual story for now on.

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Lonely Hearts I**

Hermione shied away from any touch and did all that she could to keep her eyes away from Evie. Several days have passed and Hermione was still afraid to tell Ginny. She felt dirty and unclean for keeping her attraction a secret but at the same time it wasn't Ginny's business.

In fact, Hermione wasn't sure if she was attracted to women. After her revelation several nights ago, she tried to test it by letting her eyes wonder but 'Little Matt' didn't pop up to play, not even when Ginny hugged her. But there was something special about Evie, something not quite right. 'Love potion? I am feeling a little obsessed right now,' but, where could Evie get a love potion? They were illegal, and no offense to Evie's intelligence, but damn hard to make.

Hermione even tried a variable in her experiment and gazed at Ron in the bathroom. He didn't see her peeking through the stalls, but she had to admit (grudgingly) Ron had a cute butt. She found it kind of funny that when he was using the urinal (hopefully pissing) that Ron like to take his pants completely off and rest them on the sink. It was also funny when Seamus came in and got a nosebleed. It took all of Hermione's willpower not to break out giggling. Poor Seamus.

So that was why Hermione was camping out behind a statue. Evie had walked by two minutes ago but stopped to tie her shoelaces (for two whole minutes). 'How long does it take for someone to tie her shoes? 'Maybe she doesn't know how?' Hermione instantly felt bad about the joke but became caught up in the vision of herself coming to Evie's rescue and tying the laces for her.

Evie finally straightened up and yawned before scratching her stomach and walking off. Hermione was reminded of Ron who always did the classic yawn and belly-rub. "Wow, they must be rubbing off on each other."

She walked out from behind the statue and peered around the corner.

Evie was standing next to Lavender (Hermione had tried the test on Lavender and was proud to say she had no reaction especially to Lavender throwing herself at her) and Ron.

"Today's Friday!" Lavender sang joyously.

"Hmm," Ron grunted.

"Freedom! What are your plans for tomorrow?" Evie asked Lavender after giving Ron a worried glance.

Lavender shrugged, "Busy. I have a study session with Neville."

Evie nodded. "You two are close," She commented.

Lavender shrugged. "He's okay once you get passed the stuttering, but nothing compared to Mathieu!" Hermione's heart fluttered when she saw the raven haired girl blush.

"He's nothing much…" Evie muttered.

* * *

"…I was cuter," Harry mumbled, "Much cuter than any French guy."

Lavender laughed, "Oh Harry, you're such a virgin." Harry blushed and choked on air.

"Shut up. You're so vulgar," Harry cried. He shoved Lavender before crossing his arms and leaning against the wall in mock anger. His massive mood swings ended days ago and his period ended last night (Thank Merlin): He was tired of destroying underwear and shoving things in places he was quite terrified of.

Ron suddenly jerked and glared at Lavender, "Are you playing around with Ginny's boyfriend?"

"…" Lavender stared at Ron with her jaw dropped before making a strange noise that resembled a butchered 'No' before storming away.

"Wow, Ron," Harry laughed at his flabbergasted friend. "Delayed reaction much?"

Ron just deflated. "Sorry, I'm just so tired."

Harry kind of laughed at how easy he got over the Lavender/Neville fling but then frowned at how down Ron looked. His mood must be really down if he can't even summon enough strength to care even a little bit about Ginny's love life.

"Ron, what's wrong?" Harry asked.

Ron shrugged, "Nothing, honest."

Harry nodded but he didn't think nothing was bothering Ron. No, he heard the rumor about Hannah dumping him. Hannah was dead silent on the subject but somehow word got out. Harry decided against asking Ron about the situation. He'd let his friend come to him when he was ready.

"Soo…" Harry whistled, "I'm getting pretty sick of being a," He glanced around to make sure no one was close by, "a girl."

Ron snorted. "I don't know how you lasted so far."

Harry shrugged, "I just have bigger balls then you."

Ron laughed and Harry smiled at seeing his friend in a better mood.

"Don't be so high and mighty," Ron laughed, "Your balls just look better in skirt, that's all."

* * *

Hermione was a bit horrified with the discussion. Evie was quite vulgar with Ron. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. She needed to end the silent treatment. They needed to be friends. Hermione's heart felt strained at their distance.

She heard their conversation about balls trail off and then Ron saying goodbye. Good, Evie was alone.

Hermione opened her eyes and saw Evie on the move.

"Hey! Evie, wait," Hermione called, quickly gathering her senses.

Evie tensed before slowly turning around.

* * *

Harry squeezed his eyes shut when he heard the familiar voice call to him.

'Oh no,' He thought, embarrassed. He still felt slightly horrified with himself at his behavior towards Mathieu, but he was too proud to apologize. He also didn't need to be fueling his inappropriate feelings to other boy.

He slowly turned around and met the curly haired boy's eyes.

Mathieu was very nervous, Harry could tell. He played with hand before taking a deep breath.

"Evie, please don't stay mad at me," He said.

Harry frowned and felt slightly guilty. But the feelings…

"I wasn't trying to be mean to you, I just, I'm sorry," Mathieu said and took Harry's hand.

Harry nodded and glanced at their clasped hands. What the hell? THE FEELINGS! He tugged at his hand and Mathieu let go quickly, blushing. Harry blushed too, and sighed. Poor Matt looked so strung up about the situation and Harry felt guilty (it was his fault) and decided to let the logic not tainted by estrogen seep into his brain.

"Don't apologize," Harry sighed. "I was crazy with…y'know and Seamus was looking at me funny and it was pissing me off."

Mathieu smiled, "Yeah…it's all Seamus' fault."

Harry nodded, "Yeah, it is."

They stayed pleasantly silent for a bit until Mathieu broke the silence.

"So we're friends?" He asked and Harry nodded.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You're confidence lifts my spirit," Mathieu joked awkwardly.

"Ok…" Harry nodded awkwardly. Very awkwardly. "I gotta go. Class…"

Mathieu nodded. "I've got class too…with you…"

"Great," Harry faked enthusiasm. 'Not! This is so awkward.'

* * *

Hermione was still mad about the hand situation: Mad at herself for grabbing it, and mad at Evie for pulling away, and mad the world for existing!

But despite Evie's less-than-stellar-enthusiasm at their burgeoning friendship, she was determined to make it work. Evie would have to deal!

"I've got class too…with you…" Hermione said.

"Great," Evie said slowly.

Hermione frowned and smirked at the same time. It was a weird expression but she wore it all the same. 'Evie better stuff it. Now that she accepted my apology, I'm gonna be stuck to her side like glue!'

* * *

Ron wandered the halls with no intention of going to class. He was humming a song and continuing with his depressed, broken-hearted behavior. A few girls shot him hopeful expressions but he ignored them…almost. He smiled, picked up a few potential dates, but nothing filled the whole in his chest.

He stopped beside a Knight's armor and slid to floor. "Man, you're lucky you're made of iron. Nothing can penetrate to your heart."

The armor squeaked in response.

"Yeah, me too, man," Ron sighed, "me too."

"Feeling sorry for yourself, still?" A voice called.

* * *

Guess who?


	18. Lonely Hearts II

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

A/N: Goodness, There's so much stuff going on. 'Who was Ron in love with? Wait—Parvati's in this?' Its such a pain to reread stuff I've been writing and reading repeatedly. Anyway, this was gonna be part of chapter 17, but I just decided to make a new chapter out of it.

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Lonely Hearts II**

"Feeling sorry for yourself, still?" A voice called.

Ron jerked at the voice but ultimately sighed in annoyance. "Bugger off, Parvati," He cried, "I've had enough of you."

"I don't think so," Parvati said softly. She moved into his line of vision.

"You disgust me!" Ron spat. He was tensing and his muscles shook with anger and frustration.

Parvati regarded him nervously before confidence seeped back into her.

"No," She said again. "No, because…" She moved towards him and bent down. She outstretched her arm and let it touch his cheek. Ron flinched and tried to move away but she continued to stroke him. "I think you enjoy this very much."

And with that she leaned in and kissed him.

* * *

Transfiguration class moved on from the gender-bender lesson McGonagall had been teaching and they were now learning to turn creatures with scales into mammal-based materials. Hermione pouted when McGonnagal told her and Evie to sit out. Hermione understood that it was for the sake of not making their lack of participation with the Sunor Ot Celfer look suspicious, but Damn it, Hermione wanted to learn.

The only good thing about the class was that Ron had mysteriously disappeared, and Lavender had volunteered to be Neville's partner. That meant Evie had no one to talk to but her.

Hermione did an internal wiggle at her giddiness. Evie seemed a bit less uncomfortable then she was earlier and was actively partaking in a conversation.

"So, it's deplorable how wizard society has warped the mind of House Elves," Hermione said passionately, "Think of how they would be if we didn't beat down on them about how their only purpose is to serve us!"

A few heads turned to glare at her and Hermione blushed.

* * *

"Wow," Harry said with a quizzical glance, "I don't really understand what you just said…" But that rant was sexy as hell. He blushed.

Mathieu frowned but then shrugged. "So Christmas is coming up…" He said.

Harry nodded, "and then that stupid egg project will be done."

Mathieu frowned and then spoke in a surprisingly low voice, "I don't think it was stupid."

Harry frowned at Mathieu incredulously. He leaned his head into his hand and twisted a strand of hair. It was getting awkwardly long.

"If we never had that project, I never would've gotten to know you," Mathieu said. He reached out and Harry watched with wide eyes as Mathieu tugged at Harry's hair good naturedly. To Harry, though, something was off. Mathieu's hand stayed a little too long and his eyes held a little too much warmth.

'Wha…What just happened?' Harry's slow mind failed to understand. He nodded and ran a hand through his hair again as if to shake off Mathieu's touch.

"Yeah, good point," Harry nodded, "You're a good 'friend'. One of the best I've had, Buddy ol' pal…yeah."

Mathieu's face fell and he nodded as he leaned away, "Yeah, same here…Pal."

"Great, Friend…" Harry trailed off. 'GREAT! Now I can't even call him by his name. Being sexually confused in wrong gender sucks.'

As the class ended, Harry hoped to escape Mathieu who just seemed to want to make Harry awkward and gay but Mathieu grabbed his hand.

"Hey since we can't participate in class, we should study on our own. Since McGonnagal is against us foreigners and all," Mathieu smiled wide and Harry suddenly noticed that his two front teeth were slightly large. Mathieu also had light freckles dusting his cheeks, which Harry never noticed before either.

The other boy suddenly looked so boyish and less haunted (which was probably Lavender's fault. She was a bit aggressive with her manhunting). Harry exhaled slowly, his body a little shaken from this moment. When he looked at Mathieu again, he was still looking pleadingly at him but Harry was seeing him as he normally did. Nothing special anymore, but… Harry almost felt traitorous for admitting this, but he would like to have that moment again.

"Yeah…we should, totally," Harry nodded." I'll see you in the commons. But first I'm going to go look for Ron."

Matt smiled wider and turned to go, leaving Harry. He stood in the quickly emptying classroom and soon he found himself alone. His thoughts a jumble of Mathieu and freckles when an all too annoying voice spoke from behind: "Wow, what was that?"

Harry groaned, not alone.

"I don't know, Lavender," He said as he turned to the girl behind him. She gave him an incredulous look.

"Is there seriously something going on between you two?" She asked in a hiss, "And don't lie to me."

"No," Harry cried out frustrated. He didn't know what was going on, himself, and he was actually participating in all that transpired. No way would he let Lavender come up with her own version of events.

"You're a boy, remember?" Lavender whispered as she tugged him from the class room to the end of the hall where there was no one. "Or did you forget that?"

"Of course I didn't!" He snapped.

"I can't believe Mathieu has fallen for you…" Lavender groaned.

"Jesus, Lavender," Harry snapped, "Nothing is going on. We're just friends!"

"Uhuh! FAMOUS LAST WORDS, SHERLOCK!" Lavender huffed out. "Everyone says that they're 'just friends' and then BOOM! Marriage. Babies. Grandkids...And then death!"

"Not gonna happen," Harry said. 'We're both boys, we can't have kids,' Harry shook his head at that. No need to be thinking about that when he and Matt are just friends.

"And he never even noticed me," Lavender pouted, ignoring Harry and all that he said. "I can't believe my future husband chose another guy over me."

"Lavender, shush," Harry said and grabbed Lavender's lips. "You're talking too loud."

"Sorry," Lavender muttered as Harry released her, "This is just ridiculous."

"Nothing's ridiculous about this because nothing's going on. Mathieu's still the open target of all you crazy chicks."

"Harry," Lavender snapped, "Maybe you didn't realize this because you're just a stupid boy after all, (Harry bristled at that) but he glowed at you and he stares at you all the time…" Lavender sighed. "He's not open for all us 'real' girls."

She turned and walked away, finally leaving Harry alone with unwanted thoughts.

"Thanks a lot, Lavender," he muttered.

* * *

Parvati had led Ron to an empty classroom. Ron's mind was too hazy to truly grasp the situation and the repercussions. All he understood was that if he followed Parvati, he was going to get some.

Thoughts of Hannah were pushed to the back of his mind. She had pushed him away and he was sulky because of that. He could do with some lifting of the spirits that didn't involve Firewhiskey (not that he could get his hands on any) so this was just what the healers ordered.

He finally gave in and kissed Parvati back. That simple gesture seemed to have spurned her to life. She suddenly she seemed more confident and took more bold moves, moves that Ron liked.

Her lips sucked on his neck, her body pressed against his. Ron unknowingly found their entwined bodies back until he bumped into a desk.

Parvati giggled, "Nervous, Ronnikins?"

He groaned, "Don't call me that when we're about to do it."

If Ron had been paying attention, he would've seen a shadow move behind Parvati's eyes before she smiled sweetly at him.

"Do it?" She repeated as she leaned against him: chest to chest, hands on his shoulders, lips an inch from his. "Oh Ronnikins," She kissed him, "You're going to have to make me your girlfriend before you're going to get that far with me."

She smiled wider before moving away.

Frozen from his spot, Ron watched in shock and a bit in horror as she straightened her clothes out and left him alone with a hard on and without even glancing back.

* * *

Well here's chapter 18. It would be cool if you guys could leave in a review stuff in this story you want me to write more on, or events or characters I've ignored or you guys just want more on.


	19. The One with the Lesbian Vampires

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered

A/N: Goodness, There's so much stuff going on. 'Who was Ron in love with? Wait—Parvati's in this?' Its such a pain to reread stuff I've been writing and reading repeatedly. Anyway, this was gonna be part of chapter 18, but I just decided to make a new chapter out of it.

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**The One with the Lesbian Vampires**

"Holiday season has started but I'm feeling more miserable than ever," Ron sighed. He, Harry, and Lavender were squeezed onto a couch in the commons area. They sat in dejection, their heads resting on their palms, and their elbows on their knees. They looked like the perfect sight of depression, they even sighed in synchronization.

"Tell me about it," Harry moaned.

"Boy troubles?" Ron asked, still gazing straight head, not even trying to make an effort to care.

"No! I'm not even gay, Ron," He snapped.

"Oh shut up, Harry," Lavender moaned next to him. "At least you have a boy to be troubled about."

"I do not!"

"They spent hours together the other day, 'studying'," Lavender explained to Ron.

"Yeah and we just studied," Harry moaned.

"First comes studying than comes marriage and baby carriage."

"And death, I know. Where do you come up with these things?" Harry asked. Lavender was always saying stupid things.

"No, it's true, mate," Ron said from Harry's side. "That's why I never study with any girls. They'll tie you down."

"Oh shush, you never study at all," Lavender laughed. "It's a wonder you're still in the same year as us."

"Oh very funny, and I do too study."

Harry sighed as his friends went at it. At least they weren't staring off into space anymore. He took their distraction as a chance to sneak away. He didn't want to have to listen to them argue over make-believe issues or Lavender's love for Mathieu, or whatever was bothering Ron…wait, what was bothering Ron?

Maybe he should help his friend find a new girl to cheer him up. Parvati had been looking interested.

* * *

Ginny collapsed next Hermione on the lake shore. Since it was winter, both were wrapped up in their winter cloaks and scarves. The poor girl—or boy—was staring off into the distance. Ginny had never seen her friend like this. Even Terry, her actual boyfriend, had never brought out this type of emotion out of Hermione.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Ginny asked. She was a bit nervous to whatever gale-force issues Hermione might unleash. "Let me guess, not only are you a lesbian but you're only attracted to lesbian vampires who sneak into your room at night and kidnap you to-"

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked. "Vampires? You've been reading too many smut novels."

"So no vampires?" Ginny asked.

"No," Hermione sighed.

"Just lesbians?"

"No!" Hermione cried and blushed. She loosened her scarf and tore off her trapper hat. In her male form, the tiny revealing of skin made a few surrounding girls turn and stare. They could sense a partially nude boy like a pack of hungry wolves.

"Then…?" Ginny asked. "If you're not going to complain, can I?"

Hermione shrugged. "You've listened to me gripe enough. I'll let you have your turn."

"Thank you, you're too kind," Ginny said than turned serious. "Do you …think Neville and I go well together?" Ginny had spoken slowly. The level of seriousness in her voice made Hermione look at her.

She took the question in and pondered Neville and Ginny. "I guess so…" She answered. "Do you not think so?"

Ginny shrugged. "I did at first. He was my friend but I didn't know how I felt, but now…"

"You like him a lot more," Hermione mused.

"Yes, but I think he's losing interest," Ginny closed her eyes and then her head fell forward into her arms, red hair displayed around her shoulders. Hermione's eyes widened. Was Ginny crying? She reached out and embraced her friend in a side hug.

"Oh, Ginny," She signed. "I guess it should be expected that us two girls would have so much drama."

Ginny nodded. "So what do we do?"

Hermione shrugged. "I wanted to ask you about that. I want to do something for Evie for Christmas."

"I don't know," Ginny shrugged Hermione off. "I tease you about this, Hermione, because I'm cool with it. You are my best friend, after all. But Evie? She doesn't know you. She thinks you're an actual guy. She had no clue that you're Hermione Granger."

"You think I haven't thought about that?" Hermione sighed. "I'm tortured by it. She's so cool and she's crazy as hell, but I like her a lot."

"Don't pursue it," Ginny advised. "You already have a boyfriend, remember?" When this spell comes off, you'll have him to deal with as well. How do you think he'll take it that his girlfriend plays for the same team as him?"

"Well…" Hermione sighed. "I'm not so sure anymore…"

"What?" Ginny cried and then hushed quickly but her wide eyes were on Hermione with confusion. "Make up your mind. Gay? Straight?"

"I don't know," Hermione shrugged. "I like Evie, but not really anyone else."

"What about Lavender?" Ginny asked, "Nothing for her?"

"Obviously," Hermione glared. "That one is mental."

Ginny snorted. "Okay, I was just asking. She's the only other girl besides me and Evie who you really talk to…you don't feel anything for me, do you?"

Hermione made a face. "Of course not. That would be gross."

"What?" Ginny cried, wide-eyed again. "But I'm cute and pocket size, and I have pretty red hair. Who doesn't like redheads?"

"No offense," Hermione laughed, "But we're like sisters. It would just be too weird."

"Better response, I suppose."

Hermione let the subject drop but it didn't slip away from her mind. Christmas was coming up and she wanted to do something special for Evie.

* * *

Harry left the castle in need of some fresh air. He spotted other students about despite the cold. He even recognized Ginny's famed Weasley hair off in the distance. She was sitting with another male who harry guessed could only be Mathieu or Neville. He believed it was Mathieu since the French boy wasn't bothering him at the moment. The two seemed to be preparing to return to the castle.

Harry turned away and sighed. At the world. At Lavender. At Mathieu. He quickly departed for the quidittch pitch before they could notice him. He grabbed broom from the quidditch shed and took to the air. Lavender had warned him from using anything made infamous by him, like his Firebolt, which was 10 times smoother than the Cleansweep he was riding. He did a few loops and felt invigorated. Being Evie was exhausting. He had half a mind to call off this scam. He did another flip as he thought of why he was undercover to begin with. Was it for Lavender's sake? The suffering of women? He hadn't even kept up with his journals.

Harry stayed on the pitch for another hour before the Ravenclaw quidditch team kicked him off. The captain, Terry Boot had sneered at him viciously.

Harry tossed the broom back in the shed before stomping back to the common room.

Ron and Lavender were still on the couch looking as if they'd never moved. Both looked very grumpy.

"Harry!" Lavender cried, "Why did you leave?"

Harry shrugged and collapsed on the couch between his friends.

"I needed air," He sighed.

"Well Mathieu was looking for you," Lavender sighed still silently bitter but surprisingly supportive. One would think she was a closet fag-hag. "He wanted to do some more 'studying,' if you know what I mean." And with that she winked at him.

Ron who had been silent suddenly laughed. "Hey, Mate, this could be the opportunity to lose your virginity."

"Leave it alone!" Harry growled. "You guys are jerks. After this, our friendship is through."

"Nah, you'd miss us too much," Ron smirked. "Now your man is in the boy's dorm probably sulking that you're not with him. Or masturbating…You should go cheer him up."

"Yeah, good luck…'studying'," Lavender called as Harry Moved away. His friends were idiots he silently decided.

"I thought you liked him and now you're encouraging me to 'study' with him?" Harry asked his blonde friend.

"Is that what we're calling it these days?" Someone not Ron or Lavender joked before she could respond.

"Hey, Neville," Lavender giggled and Harry got his answer. He and Ron shared a look as Neville sat down beside the blonde.

"Neville!"

Harry and everyone else turned to clearly edgy voice of Ginny Weasley.

She stormed briskly over to the clumsy boy. Lavender scowled but stayed silent. Harry would've thought the flirty girl would've spoken. She had been rather clingy when it came to Neville. Maybe not as bad as she was with Mathieu…

Harry trailed off with surprise. Despite how vocal and aggressive Lavender was when it came to Mathieu she had latched on to the idea of Harry and Mathieu (he blushed) rather quickly. But with Neville she seemed so different. She must really like him.

Ginny whispered something into Neville's ear and for a boy who's been carrying on something akin to an emotional affair with another girl while his girlfriend was behaving distantly he suddenly gave Ginny such an adoring look.

He nodded at whatever she whispered and the two went to a private corner in the common room and cuddled.

Harry quickly glanced to Lavender who was watching Neville and Ginny before she caught his eye and glared.

Harry took it as his cue to go up to the boy's dorms.

Mathieu was sitting on Harry's old bed and he assumed that he had been assigned to sleep there since Harry potter was studying in another country. Harry idly wondered if his bed in the girl's dorm belonged to Hermione Granger. Both thoughts were uncomfortable.

"Hey, Matt," He said from the door. "Lav said you wanted to study?"

Mathieu who had been lying on the bed with his eyes closed suddenly squeaked.

Harry grinned at the adorableness. Mathieu was awkward with girls, which was surprising to Harry. You would think a boy that cute and French would be more comfortable. Confidence wasn't an issue. Harry knew Mathieu had been the aggressor so far.

Mathieu nodded. He kicked his feet off the bed, messing the covers but he ignored that as he grabbed books from his bed stand.

"Transfiguration notes," Mathieu said. He glanced at Harry and patted the spot beside him. "I don't have any uh..." Mathieu searched for a word, appearing so out of sorts. "Reptiles, yes so it's all theory." He seemed to go awkward again.

"Great," Harry said and sat on the bed. He grabbed the notes and five seconds later he was already bored.

* * *

It's been a long time, but here's another chapter. This one was somewhat fun. I have a lot of ideas for upcoming events and hopefully they'll be entertaining. Thanks everyone for reviewing. They mean a lot and they truthfully keep me coming back to this story. So every update is dedicated to all of you.


	20. Humpty Dumpty

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered.

A/N: SORRY GUYZZZ! LATE CHAPTER IS LAAAATE! This was such a tough chapter to write. I honestly didn't know what to write even though I have notes and plans for plot points.

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Twenty**

**Humpty Dumpty**

Christmas was in the air as all students got mentally prepared to begin ignoring their teachers in favor of Christmas cheer. The Christmas trees were decorated with the traditional fairy ornaments and the house elves wore Christmas hats much to their horror but Dumbledore had promised to take the hats back and let the elves burn them in the kitchens. He also told the students, if the y smell smoke near the kitchens, to just ignore it and in the meantime to freshen up on their aqua spells.

And along with the holiday cheer, came the relief that the students of Hagrid's 7th year care of Magical creatures class could turn in their eggs finally. Harry couldn't be happier. Karen was heavy and Harry was getting tired of carrying it.

For the most part, Harry let Mathieu do most of the heavy lifting. Mathieu had a strong sense of Paternity, Harry observed. Whereas Harry had sometimes thrown Karen onto the sofa or his bed as he did something else, he noticed that Mathieu cradled Karen in his lap as they studied. After all, it was Mathieu who initiated the shopping date ('Karen couldn't be naked, after all'). Harry also noticed that once the Christmas decorations went up, Karen was wearing a Santa costume.

"Where'd this come from?" He asked as Mathieu and Karen (who was tucked in a muggle baby carrier that was strapped to Mathieu's chest). Karen was even wearing a little red hat with a fuzz ball tip.

"I thought it was fitting what with the festive cheer and all," Mathieu said shrugging. "And maybe we'll get bonus points if it looks like we took the time to dress her and all.

"And the baby carrier?" Harry asked.

"I owled my mom for it a few days ago, she used this with me apparently," Mathieu explained.

Harry nodded and suddenly finally the situation felt sweet instead of weird. Mathieu would probably make a good father.

They trekked down to Hagrid's class and sat on the ground like everyone else. Despite the strangeness in Mathieu's apparel, and the choice company of a large egg, the two who had made for a ridiculous sight now fit in with the addition of their fellow classmates. A few eggs that belonged to one or two muggleborn "parents" had googly eyes glued onto them. "Oh," Harry whispered to Mathieu, "That would've been good for bonus points."

Another egg even had a wig on. Harry looked down at the bald-headed Karen in the baby carrier and wondered if a few dark-haired curls would give them extra credit. Despite the shenanigans that Karen brought into Harry's life, he was happy to be rid of her. Taking care of an egg wasn't fun, and despite being immobile, she still managed to cause so much drama in his life. He snuck a glance at Mathieu and then looked away. A lot of drama.

"Hey," Mathieu leaned into Harry, the other boy moved Karen to the grass beside him. "I don't see Lavender and Neville?"

Harry Looked around and saw that Mathieu was right. The two were not here while the rest of the class had showed up in eager droves to get rid of their kids—eggs.

"I wonder where they are," Harry pondered. "Well there's Ron and Hannah."

Ron was actually cowering as his female companion yelled at him.

"I can't believe you ate our egg!" She was screaming. The entire class sat watching. "We'll get an F for sure. F for cannibalism!"

"I was just so hungry," Ron defended

"Then eat something else, not our project…I mean child, I mean egg, whatever."

"Alfonso was delicious; he would've wanted me to eat him."

"I'm assuming you didn't eat him raw. You had to have gone to the kitchens and have a house elf whip you something together. And you still thought Alfonso was the best option to eat."

"At least we didn't eat Karen." Evie said to Mathieu as Ron and Hannah continued to duke it out.

"Yeah, all things considered we actually took pretty good care of Karen—"

CRACK

"Oops," A familiar voice drawled. Harry and Mathieu turned and saw Draco Malfoy carrying a particularly rotting egg (or maybe it was just painted slytherine green) with his boot poised above Karen's opened-cracked body, her clear and yellow innards oozing out like a wasted breakfast opportunity.

"Malfoy, you prat!" Harry cried as he stared at the broken egg. "You just killed our egg!"

"Karen!" Mathieu cried, "My grade!"

Harry stood up and faced Mathieu ready to defend Matt's honor when Mathieu let out an insane growl and tackled Malfoy. Malfoy's hideous green egg (green, really?) flew into the air, much to the horror or his partner, Pansy.

"Baby!" She cried. The egg eventually hit Seamus on the head and cracked its yoke all over him.

"Aw hell," He mumbled. "Egg Fight!"

The entire class screamed and soon eggs were flying everywhere. Harry barely had time to dodge the googly-eyed one. Mathieu was still wrestling with Malfoy. In a particularly vicious move, he had picked up a handful of yoke and smeared it across Malfoy's face.

* * *

"I'm so glad that's over with," Evie said to Hermione as they made their way back to the castle.

Hermione's first plan of action once back at the Gryffindor tower was a shower, forget about lunch. Plus once you've pulled egg out of your ear, your appetite begins to quiet.

Truthfully, Hagrid had been heartbroken when he saw everyone's destroyed project but than overjoyed when wild pygmy puffs swarmed from the Forbidden forest and ate what was left of everyone's projects. Hagrid had suddenly become overjoyed and had an impromptu lesson on pygmy puffs. This class also helped explain what happened to the pygmy puffs that always disappear when a student brings one to school.

Hermione finished her shower and changed into her uniform from the tower window she could make out kids enjoying the beginning of their winter break. Classes had ended and tomorrow, most of the students would leave for home. She wondered if Evie would leave or if she would stay. Hermione planned on staying. Ginny and her brother were leaving and so were Neville, Lavender, and Parvati.

If Evie stayed, they would have plenty of alone time. Hermione blushed at that and fell back on her bed.

* * *

Ron was frustrated. Hannah had been furious with him. He didn't truly understand why. Upset sure, he had eaten their project, but she looked ready to curse him. He was truly fortunate that Malfoy stuck his foot in Harry's egg or Hannah might have killed him.

Ron truly didn't like Hannah angry at him. He had already disappointed her enough. She had stomped away from him the moment Hagrid had dismissed him and she hadn't looked back. In fact, she had her arms crossed. Girls crossing their arms never meant anything good.

Ron needed to blow off steam. In fact, he needed to forget about Hannah. She had broken up with him. She was the one who hadn't wanted to give him a chance, so he should get over her.

He needed a girl. Only a girl would help him get over another girl.

"Hey Ron," A sultry voice asked.

"What a coincidence," He murmured and turned to the voice. "Hi Parvati."

"Whats with that smile?" She asked. She raised an eyebrow at him. She had thought he'd be more frustrated with her than happy but his face told her otherwise.

"I'm ready," He said magnanimously . "You can be my girlfriend."

Parvati laughed aloud. "You're kidding, right?"

"No," Ron snapped. "Didn't you want to be my girlfriend."

"…" Parvati just stared at him. "Yes, actually. I just didn't think it would be so easy."

She honestly had a list written out to torture Ron sexually before going in for the killing blow. Ron was not suppose to come around this soon.

She twisted her neck and gazed calculatingly at him. She could still work with this.

"Okay," She said slowly and a new plan began to unfold in her mind. "If I'm your girlfriend, what do you want to do now?" She leaned into him and gazed at his face. She blinked her long lashes at him, and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're tense."

Ron shivered. "Yeah. Actually, I think we could head up to my dorm and," He gulped. "'study.'"

"I can start with a massage."

* * *

Harry finally found Lavender sitting in an empty classroom. She had lights off and was staring despondently at a wall. Harry sighed.

"I've been looking for you everywhere…" He noticed her strange body language. Boy trouble, but for the sake of decorum—"Okay, what now?"

Lavender sighed loudly. "I hate men!"

And he was right on the dot.

"Okay," Harry said and sat beside her. "But does that really warrant sitting in a dark classroom by yourself like a crazy person?"

"Yes it does," Lavender moaned. "I need to separate myself from other people lest they break my heart as well."

"I don't think you need to be so dramatic. I mean, if this is about Mathieu—"

"Oh don't remind me!" Lavender bemoaned. She grabbed Harry by his shirt. "You stole the token hotty! And now I'm in love with a married man!"

"Whoa," Harry cried and jumped away from Lavender. "Married? Since when are Matt and I married? Who told you this?"

"Oh not you two, I mean Neville!" Lavender cried and slumped on her seat.

"Neville isn't married either," Harry said cautiously.

"He might as well be," Lavender said. "He barely paid me any attention as soon as that red-haired harpy enters a room."

'Oh boy,' Harry thought. "That's because Ginny Weasely's his girlfriend."

"But why?" Lavender sighed. "Everyone is having such successful relationships but me. Why do I fall for taken men?"

"In case you haven't noticed, my love life is kind of non-existent, and Ron's? Well, his is a mess."

"That does make me feel better, actually," Lavender said.

"Good for you. Now where were you today?" Harry asked. "We turned our eggs in but then Malfoy started an egg fight and they all got destroyed."

"Yeah…I ditched," Lavender shrugged. "I asked Ron to babysit my egg and he lost it."

Harry thought back to Ron confession to eating his egg. "Maybe he got hungry?"

"Are you suggesting he ate my egg? He told me he took it out to the quidditch pitch and some suspicious person was hanging around."

"Well he ate his egg, but we shouldn't put out egg-napping," Harry said

"Great," Lavender sighed still sounding depressed. "So how did Hagrid grade everyone?"

"…" Harry thought for a moment. "I have no idea, actually. I don't think he has a grading curriculum….may I ask where Neville was? He wasn't at class either."

Lavender shrugged and turned away.

* * *

_"Neville?" Lavender knocked on the boy's dorm door. "Come on we have magical creature class."_

_"I'm not going!" Neville's muffled voice cried through the door._

_"Why because our egg was eggnapped?" Lavender asked. _

_"Yes!"_

_"Well…okay," Lavender said and shrugged. "Seems like a good enough reason to me."_

_Lavender turned to leave, knowing Neville wouldn't open the door. She might as well do something fun with her new free time. _

_"How will I ever be a good father if I can't even take care of an egg!?" Neville cried. _

_"Neville," Lavender sighed. "It wasn't you. You were a great father to our egg. And it wasn't your fault. Not at all. It was my fault."_

_Neville was quiet on the other side. "You were great with Petey," he whispered._

_Lavender smiled softly and leaned against the door. She thought back to the egg, Petey, who Neville treated like a real baby. He sang to it at night. "I should have paid him better attention. I just gave him to Ron."She felt so stupid now. She was aware of how much effort Neville put into their egg and she didn't take that into consideration when she asked Ron to egg-sit._

_Neville opened the door and the two stared at each other._

_"You're friends with him," He said. "I'm sorry; I'm being silly about an egg."_

_"No you're not," Lavender whispered. They were leaning very close to each other._

_Neville stared at her face and did his eyes dip to her lips. Lavender licked her lips._

_"Neville?" She asked and leaned closer._

_The kiss lasted a moment…_

* * *

"I haven't see him at all," Lavender said, unable to meet Harry's eyes.

* * *

Duh Duh Duh!

A new chapter. Something completely different was suppose to happen at the end of this chapter; Two different characters were suppose to kiss. Any guesses on who?

Side note, I was on Hannah Abbot's wiki page and she apparently marries Neville! I was not aware Neville married anyone, so you go Neville. This is why Jk Rowling needs to publish an encyclopedia that is not Pottermore.


	21. New Roads

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter no matter how much money I offered. This story is based on the Boy Meets World episode "Chick like me" (4x15) and the movie "One of the guys." I recommend checking those out.

Also I just watched the movie 'Just one of the girls' (1993) starring Corey Haim and now I wish I could rewrite this whole story and do something a little different with Harry's experiences—to me he doesn't feel like a guy. Oh well, no point in ret-conning anything now. But I recommend that movie as well. I watched it on youtube so catch it soon, in case it gets taken down. Corey Haim was pretty adorable as a girl, by the way, if not a little perverted.

**One of the Guys**

**Chapter Twenty-One **

**New Roads**

It was weird, Ron thought when he woke up the next morning. Parvati was tucked under his arm and snuggled up against his chest. He lifted the blanket up and then quickly dropped it. Oh boy. Where were his clothes?

* * *

"So, there I was, I was sitting on a whale…but it was really like a giant turtle, but I didn't realize that until like the middle part—Anyway! I was sitting there in the middle of the ocean on what I thought was a whale and a mist came over me and a voice calls to me. 'Lav, you will find your truth one day'. At first I thought it was God, then I realized it was Elton John. And remember that turtle part, well Elton John was the turtle." Lavender finished. "Then I woke up. What do you think it all means?"

Harry couldn't even finish his breakfast. "That you shouldn't eat cheese cake before bed?"

"This is important, Harry." Lavender snapped. "I mean 'Evie'. That dream kicked me off center. How am I supposed to hold myself together today without my zen?"

Harry shrugged. "If it's that important to you, you could always ask Trelawney."

"I could, but then she'll wonder why I haven't figured it out myself, I don't want her to become disappointed in me."

"No, we wouldn't want that."

"Where's Parvati when I need her? She wouldn't laugh at me," Lavender sighed.

Harry rolled his eyes and then briefly wondered where Ron was. He and Lavender had waited for him for about 20 minutes before deciding to catch breakfast before class began.

"Ron's not here, either," Harry pointed out.

"I know," Lavender sighed. "It's been wonderful, hasn't it?"

Harry chuckled and the two collected their books and headed off to transfiguration.

"Sphhshhh!" a voice whispered as they walked passed a knight's armor. Suddenly a quill hit the back of Harry's neck.

"Ow," Harry grabbed the back of his neck. He had been hit by the pointy end.

"Sphshh!" the voice whispered again.

The two turned towards the armor and saw Ron's face pop out from behind it.

"Ron," Lavender hissed. "Where have you been?"

"Hiding," He scowled.

Lavender and Harry stared at him. "And?" Lavender snapped.

"From…" Ron made a face and then confessed. "From Parvati!"

Lavender and Harry shared a look, knowing there were only so many reasons that would cause Ron to want to hide from a girl.

"Parvati, Ron?" Lavender asked. "Your ex? Didn't you already sleep with her? Weren't you after the Hufflepuff?"

Ron glared at Lavender. "I think I want to talk to Harry."

"Fine by me," Lavender huffed and stomped away.

"What crawled up her butt?" Ron snapped.

"Lavender hates men, right now." Harry explained.

Ron sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know the feeling…sort of. I messed up big time last night."

Harry didn't say anything, but raised an eyebrow at his friend.

"Bloody hell, Harry, don't do that! I'm grieving here."

"Do what?" Harry asked, "And call me 'Evie.'"

"Sorry," Ron sighed, "but the eyebrow thing, don't do that. It's sexy as hell, and I'm trying to air my grievances about my girl problems."

"Ew, Ron," Harry snapped and looked away. "Maybe I should leave too."

"Not you," Ron cried out and then quieted. "I need you."

"What's going on?" Harry asked and stepped closer. "What happened between you and Parvati?"

"I think it's pretty obvious." Ron sighed. "I've been avoiding her this morning. I made a mistake."

"She wasn't at breakfast," Harry said.

"Ugh," Ron groaned. "That means I could've gotten food."

Harry shrugged.

"Well, I'm avoiding her so I can't go to class today; can you pick up my homework?" He asked

Harry nodded and Ron went back to hide behind his armor. Harry shook his head and ran after Lavender.

* * *

Class went by fast and so Lavender and Harry collected Ron's homework.

"I can't believe that man," Lavender grumbled. She and Harry carried their assignments down the hall and saw Ron hiding in an alcove. He waved at them and was about to step out of his shadowy-hideout when Parvati walked by from the opposite direction. She didn't notice Ron and so it was pretty amusing to see him rock his body backwards to avoid her.

"Hey, Lavender," Parvati waved. She was walking with her twin sister and the two girls swept by Harry and Lavender.

"Smooth," Lavender cooed at Ron. "I can see why all the ladies love you."

"Oh shut up, Lavender," Ron muttered. "Is this all my homework?"

"Oh yeah," Harry unloaded in Ron's arms. "Good luck."

"Ew," Ron said. "Well I'm off to the common's room. Don't forget to bring me back some lunch."

The two nodded and said goodbye.

* * *

The next morning, Ron lay in bed. He felt embarrassed about the hoops he jumped through to avoid Parvati when she didn't seem to miss his presence at all. Was he just a lay for her? Did she even care that he was avoiding her? Furthermore, should he be insulted?

There were too many thoughts rambling through Ron's head and he figured he should just turn his brain off and let the chips fall into place.

* * *

Terry who had spent the first few months of school with girlfriend on the continent had finally decided to break the silence of no interaction with his girlfriend. Hermione had simply vanished, no goodbye or letters about her experience. To be fair, they were both busy with their own lives. She obsessed over school and her failed paper, and he had prefect duties and quidditch.

When he had heard that she was going to study in France, he had been happy for her, a little disappointed that she had not written him but their relationship was like that; A little casual, a little open.

He had found company in other girls when he needed it, but Hermione was still his main girl. She was smart and therefore a perfect match for him. He decided with Christmas in the air, that he'd write her a letter, maybe plan a weekend together over break. It has been months after all since he last saw her. Maybe she'd have a cute accent also.

He pondered those exciting thoughts as he conjured some parchment paper. He jotted down a quick note inviting her to visit Hogwarts over the break and conjured a holiday card with a snowman on the front. If she could stay a few nights, he'd let her stay in the Ravenclaw Tower also now that he had his own room as a prefect and she'd be only essentially visiting before she went back to Beaubaxton.

* * *

"I had another dream about Elton John but this time he was accompanied by Ringo Starr," Lavender explained.

"Were they whale-turtle creatures again?" Harry asked as he took a bite of toast.

"No, actually… they were rabbits this time," Lavender sighed.

"Stop with the late night cheesecake, why won't you?" Harry said. "Maybe the dreams will stop, as well."

Lavender sighed. She looked down the table to see Neville eating breakfast with Dean and Seamus. Across from them was Ginny and Mathieu. Lavender let her eyes roam over Mathieu. He was still handsome but then her eyes roamed to Neville and she couldn't remove them. Neville wasn't stereotypically handsome but he was a great companion. He was funny, kind, and actually quite smart. Neville laughed at something Ginny had said, and Lavender scowled. She turned back to Harry and grabbed his toast out of his hands and took a vicious bite.

Harry just froze as his delicious breakfast was hijacked by a seemingly bipolar woman. "You're welcome," He mumbled.

Lavender just glared at him and continued eating. Harry sighed and grabbed himself some more toast. He looked over to the group that had Lavender so heartbroken. He met Mathieu's eyes. Mathieu sent him a smile and nodded. Harry let a small smile stretch across his face. And maybe he was blushing a little. He looked away back to Lavender only to see her glaring at him with the evil eye look.

"What?" He asked. "I'm not allowed to acknowledge my other friends."

Lavender shook her head. "You two make me sick. Being all lovey-dovey and blushing and smiling and waving with the nodding. UGH! Stop it. I don't need you to shove your relationship down my throat. It shouldn't be that easy for you to get a boyfriend. That's not even fair!"

"B-boyfriend?" Harry sputtered. "Are you drunk?" He reached for her pumpkin juice and smelled it.

"Just go over there and make out with him, already, why don't you," She snapped and grabbed her drink back. "You know, you could stand to be a little more like Ron. He's and idiot but he's not coy."

"What did I do to deserve this attack?" Harry asked a little offended. "Just because you're stressed about Neville doesn't mean you have to take it out on me. I'm out. I'm going to class."

He got up and left the Great hall.

* * *

Hermione watched as Evie and Lavender got into a heated argument. Lavender was looking like hell. Evie looked very perplexed and once again Ron was nowhere to be seen. Hermione had noticed that that particular trio was looking pretty tense lately. Maybe it was the holiday spirit and they missed Harry. Hermione had wondered if something would ever develop between Lavender and Harry. She had thought, once maybe Lavender and Ron had some sexual tension between them, but Ron had proven to be a somewhat Dud when it came to Lavender.

Hermione debated going after Evie, but sometimes she felt like she crowded Evie. She watched as the short haired girl reached the doors. Evie turned her head and shot Hermione a pleading look before slipping away. Hermione sat up straighter and took the expression for what it was worth. Evie was inviting her along.

"Hey, I'll see you guys in class.

* * *

Hermione wasn't the only one watching Evie and Lavender. Neville had been watching too and his heart broke when he saw how destroyed Lavender looked as she attacked Harry's toast with her mouth. He couldn't take his eyes off of her but then he felt a hand rest on his wrist and he looked up and saw a wide-eyed Ginny. There was something desperate in her eyes and he swallowed. He hoped she didn't realize his feelings or the potential for feelings he had for Lavender. He truly liked Ginny and he didn't want to hurt her, but he could say the same for Lavender and he didn't want to hurt her either.

Neville didn't know what to do.

* * *

Harry had been wondering aimlessly through the hallways feeling a little emotionally lost. He felt minor betrayal at Lavender's words, but then again the friendship between him, Lavender, and Ron had always been a little volatile. But these last few weeks, Lavender had been saying little comments here and there about Harry and Mathieu, and while he had tried to take them as friendly jabs, her words could be entirely bitter and honestly cruel.

He shook his head and wondered if maybe there was any truth to her words or was she just taking her relationship frustrations out on him. Could there be something to his friendship with Mathieu. Mathieu was another boy, but then again he wasn't quiet at all about his feelings for Harry or actually "Evie".

What was Harry supposed to do about that? He couldn't exactly tell Mathieu the truth. That would be humiliating but then again he couldn't continue to lead the poor guy on. Harry didn't like guys. He really didn't. He liked Mathieu as a friend but not romantically. Harry liked women. He had a little crush on Lavender a few years ago but he had always been too shy to act on it. Lavender was so filled with life and she was fast moving, sometimes Harry felt that she was out of his league.

He sighed and scuffed his shoes on the stone ground. His life felt a little pathetic. Here he was bemoaning his lack of sex-life or never having a girlfriend, when he was stuck in a girl's body. He heard footsteps behind him and turned to, unsurprisingly, find Mathieu walking towards him.

He smiled weakly at the French boy who for all intents and purposes was his friend but also made Harry feel inadequate. What a realization to have about your friend. Harry admired him. Harry kind of wished he was him. He had girls like Lavender and even Ginny hanging off his arm and he seemed fully capable of getting even a 'straight' guy to become attracted to him. Yeah, even though Harry wanted to be like Mathieu he also kind of wanted to be with him. Ugh.

He frowned and turned away from Mathieu and kept on walking. Yeah, he needed to clear his head.

"Where are you going? Wait up, won't you?" Mathieu called and jogged to catch up with Harry.

Harry felt Mathieu's hand on his shoulder and glanced at him quickly. Mathieu smiled at him and Harry fought a shiver.

"Wow, everyone seems so tense lately," Mathieu said conversationally. "I saw Lavender yelling at you earlier."

Harry grunted. "It was nothing, don't worry about it."

Mathieu fell into a steady pace beside harry and shoved his hands in his front pockets casually. "I can't help it," He said in a low voice. "I don't like seeing you upset."

Harry sent a quick look at Mathieu, hating him for making him feel…gay, but also loving how someone could feel so attuned to him. "What do you care if I'm upset?"

"You're my friend," Mathieu said. "I don't like seeing my friends upset. Not if I can help it."

"You should hang out with girls less, than," Harry shrugged.

Mathieu held out a hand for Harry to take. He stared at for a moment before accepting it. He gave in a little and accepted the warmth that Mathieu's hand seemed to seep out of his body into Harry's heart.

"Let's go outside for a walk," Mathieu said. "We have sometime before class starts."

Harry chuckled at that and the two walked out of the castle. It wasn't snowing, not quite cold enough yet, but their breaths came out in puffs.

"Hey, What's that?" Harry squinted into the white sky and pointed at a black dot in the sky coming from the castle. Mathieu followed his gaze and figured it was an owl.

"I guess we missed the post?" Mathieu suggested.

The dot came closer and the shape of an owl formed. It came and swooped around the two before landing on Mathieu's shoulder and sticking out its foot which held an envelope and a scroll.

Mathieu took the items dutifully and watched as the bird took off. Harry watched as Mathieu opened the envelope and pulled out a Christmas card with a snowman on it.

"I wonder who this is from," Mathieu mumbled.

"I forgot Christmas is coming," Harry said and sighed. With all the drama of his friends, he wondered how much he'd be able to enjoy the holiday.

"Don't sound so sad about it," Mathieu chuckled. "We can celebrate it together? Unless, are you going home?"

Harry shook his head. "I'm staying over break."

"Great, we'll celebrate it together," Mathieu smiled. He wrapped an arm around Harry and began to lead them back to the school. "I have to admit, I'm pleased you're not going home. I wanted to spend Christmas with you most of all."

"Why?" Harry asked. They stopped right outside the school doors and Mathieu glanced up before meeting Harry's eyes.

"Because then I wouldn't get to do this as often," Mathieu bit his lip before leaning into Harry and kissed him.

Mathieu's warm hands were on Harry's shoulder and while the low level functioning of his brain suggested that he was currently kissing another guy, he ignored it and accepted Mathieu's lips on his. For once he decided to follow his instincts instead of letting his discomfort dictate his actions. 'This is nice,' were his last thoughts before giving in completely.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys, I've been posting this story supposedly since 2005, which has been about 8 years now. I remember being a kid and writing this story. Anyway, it's been a while since I've updated and yet somehow, I'm still getting emails about people having 'favorited' this story, left a review, or added an alert. So thank you guys for leaving reviews and reminding me that people still want to read this story. It's when I get those emails that I'm the most inspired to write because I know people care.

I actually found the end of this chapter really difficult to write and I had almost put it off again to the NEXT chapter which would've been ridiculous since it was all supposed to happen in the previous chapter. I feel like this story is really slow paced but when I get to the big plot/relationship points, I tend to get shy and rush a little. Let me know what you think. I'm hoping to do a lot more writing this summer.

Also, Terry popped up for the first time in YEARS! I was writing his section and realized how callous the Terry/Hermione relationship is.


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